azalea progression

Spring 2005

Spring 2007

Spring 2009



Spring 2010

Couldn't pick my favorite so I uploaded them both.

Comment on which you like better...

precious moments soda commercial

Thanksgiving - Nov 2009

Not naming names

It's an inherent part of my personality that I've come to accept and not overly judge or try to remedy. I know that I like to know secrets and keep things vague.


Hubby and I have a friend who is in the midst of a mid-life crisis or some other major life altering conundrum. They even described this point in their life as "being at a cross-road both professionally and personally" - their words. We are a lot alike in some ways and then there are very stark differences that I can comprehend from a friend point of view, but not agree with for other reasons.



Parallels in our existences include major upheavals in all the stress causing areas - and all at once. In the past few months there have been major job changes, major home renovations and general chaos in financial stability - spending more than is coming in the door. This is something I am familiar with as I had a baby, quit my job and moved to America all within a short time period causing untold amounts of stress. I figured if there was one major area of change then it would be a good time to make other changes as well. Hindsight being what it is, I don't necessarily agree with that now.
Also there is the fact that they are also a 2-income family with one parent having a more supporting than starring role in the finacial arena. And they are supporting young children in an expensive school system with many years of this ahead. Money is always a big stressor!


However, I had my partner by my side for most of my tribulations.
He couldn't stand the idea of being in Israel away from me and the baby (even though that was our original plan - for him to stay in Israel, tie up loose ends and meet me in America when I had found a place to live and a source of income) So he quickly got rid of our worldy possessions and got out of our lease agreement (all in one fell swoop - by making the deal of a lifetime for a blind Ethiopian student he worked with: namely he sold all of our furnishings along with the lease to the apt for a song, mainly because he just wanted OUT!)
Then he rejoined me and we slogged through the relocation process together (as it probably should have been from the start)



In any case, this person has seemingly made the opposite choice. There have recently been extended business trips and now a vacation with the children sans one parent which has been extremely difficult on the parent who could not attend. [I would not call that a family vacation although there are family members involved]



Then there is the case of infidelity. That is one of the poor choices that I think led to the eventual downfall of my former VP. Bad choices that snowballed into other, more serious bad choices.

My friend has also started down that road. I am blissfully unaware of the full extent of those choices and I want to keep it that way. It has all the earmarks of a terrible situation now and further down this road.

I know there have been peiods of lonliness and boredom in that marriage and the breakdown of communication is evident by some of the more public displays that have occured. I suppose out of deference to the children the fighting has not been LOUD displays (as my husband and I are sometimes guilty of - even in front of our children), but there is such a ring of truth to the adage that actions speak louder than words.



I think there are many parts of the problem including: stagnation (life can get into a rut sometimes) and intellectual boredom (concentrating on building a business is intellectually draining) and all the upheaval that has been in their living/renovation situation. Theirs is obviously a house divided - the outcome for now is two home offices and two individual bathrooms.



Now how do I support them both (they are both individuals going through this situation) knowing what I know, and being ethically torn. Plus wanting the situation to be the best for all involved?

And to make matters worse, my husband and I are not 100% on the same page - if we were taking sides in this matter which we are not cause it's not our concern. But it did make for interesting adult conversation (imagine that!).
Maybe it's because I am still torn about how I feel and who is being wronged in the situation.
But I try to remind myself that I cannot judge because I have not walked a mile in their shoes.
I only know what they choose to presentto me [or withhold] (and maybe just a little more because I have some empathy and life experience under my belt)

What a week

Drama, Drama and more drama - just the way we like it!

and if we can get through this sefirat haomer without killing each other or fighting daily it would be a miracle.

April 15 - other wise known in America as Tax Day. We had all kinds of issues surrounding this - namely that after more than a year of cajoling, or nagging as it is called in the vernacular, we still got hit with the wrong kind of tax form and actually owed uncle sam $$$ this year - which is an unfortunate variation from our previous years.

(sorry to my kids' uncle sam-I didn't mean you-we're square!)

The day my dad and I were set to crunch the numbers, we almost burned the house down.

I won't name names, but a male member of my immediate family was kicking a soccer ball around in the back yard at Bubbe and Purpaw's house. Purpaw had already finished relaxing at the picnic table with his "stinky stick" (cigar for those not in the know and bigger than 3 years old) and brought in is computer and headphones for the evening. All of a sudden, the lights dimmed, there was a loud crashing sound outside, sparking ensued and there was also the sound of buzzing electricity.

The soccer ball had been launched precisely at the corner of the patio and the house where the drop-feed from the electricity pole fed the electricity into the house. Granted the wires were old and droopy lately - meaning they were low enough that my dad could reach them easily to disengage the sparking with a broomstick - which I don't ever recall being the case, even in recent memory. And this is a particularly vulnerable area since we remember a lightning strike happened exactly in the same spot, causing even more damage since there was a blue glow in the kitchen for awhile after that and the microwave was deemed the only casualty.

At least our electricity situation doesn't look like this :)

I went stumbling through the laundry room in all my largess to trip all the circuit breakers, to really stop the electricity from causing any further damage. Good thing I made my dad check it out because I had missed a few in the dark ;)

This incident was exciting enough to scare my usually unflappable daughter into hysterics and spooked my son pretty bad. Though they didn't relate the incredulous story to friends or teachers at school like I thought they might.
We did sit them down to explain everything in terms they could understand This after Puraw had called the city hotline to get the number for the electric company [my idea since all his bills were online with no way to access them] and generally calmed the ensuing hysteria down. and we had to make sure we didn't lay blame - because accidents happen, and all turned out fine (other than a few hours waiting on the elec comp to remedy the situation-which they did relatively speedily)

Then of course, the whole stress of the taxes made my husband crazy. He got the wrong kind of form - not his fault - even though I nagged him for over a year to make sure he had the right one. Then we found out that he wanted to have my dad crunch his numbers NOW (with no though as to what Purpaw was doing that night) so as to get the figure that he owed - as a result of getting the wrong form - back to his boss to prove why he wanted the other form. Then in yet another mistake that'll cost me, he took it upon himself to break it down for the boss, rather than just let the numbers speak for themselves.


The following day, I got an earful from my dad, at work, while all my co-workers could hear me, fighting over this with him (I didn't have a chance to shut my door, not that it would have helped much anyway)




It didn't matter to my dad that I wasn't the one to create any part of this problem, nor was the anger I got the brunt of directed at me for that matter, but it did raise my blood pressure and generally piss me off. And I made sure to tell that to my dad in no uncertain terms, as well as to make sure he was to take up the matter with the one he actually had an issue with. I think me telling him that this fight was accomplishing nothing other than to raise both his and my blood pressure is the part that finally got through to him and got him off the phone with me, hopefully to make the subsequent call to my husband (who later told me that my dad was nothing but nice to him that day. Yeah, sure - he had already got out all his yelling out of his system - at me!)


In fact, it raised MY blood pressure so much so that a full two hours later when I had a headache (which I didn't have at the time) and decided to check my pressure (in the Safety Director's office on my floor, after just about everyone else had already left) my pressure was still elevated to 171/96 [don't tell my dr, she'll put me on bed rest for sure]

Gas Mask Distribution

Looks like it's that time again:
IDF expands distribution of gas masks
Does the IDF know something we don't know?

The very next article I read was this:
Gas mask distribution unrelated to security situation

And truthfully, I think I agree with one of the commenters who noted that the gas mask is more of a PR ploy - into convincing J.Q. Public that they have some concrete action they can take to protect themselves in an otherwise pretty hopeless situation.

Staggering Dreams

That should be the title to a song!
But for me - it is just my reaction to my over active and over taxed mind, trying to sort out the difficulties and experiences I am having in the waking world.

Work issues AGAIN!
But this time they pervaded my subconscious mind. I woke up unsettled from my dream world for many reasons not least of which - I acted strangely out of character from my awake-self personality in more than one part of the dream.
Here’s the back story:
My current boss’s boss [I’ll refer to him as G] got himself arrested and in a heap of trouble by making poor choices in his personal life. Which I have mentioned previously on this blog. My current boss [R] – loyal perhaps to a fault, helped out this guy on the down-low: no one was really supposed to know that he spent hours at the bail bondsman and trying to spring G from the pokey.

This week R springs the news that he is resigning from his current position and taking a new job, much closer to home, with some of his dad’s cronies. It may or may not be relevant to the issue that he got our company through a very low spot when we were surely facing bankruptcy, and he managed to keep all our creditors at bay, although that was WAY outside the scope of his job description. It was possibly more along the lines of what his boss G should have been doing, instead of making poor choices in his personal life that bled over into his professional life and dramatically led to his eventual demise.
I’ll admit R wasn’t perfect [his Jew jokes were wearing thin and starting to irritate me for one thing], but he was fun to work for and flexible about most things, including letting me learn some new skills when the need arose.

Having gotten used to the idea that R was leaving, I went in to visit with his contemporary [wB] about some other work related issue. Over the course of this week we got to talking and he revealed that it is almost certain that he will be moving up the ladder – not to R’s previous level, but in a way that includes that I will be reporting to him and that we will be adding another girl to our dept to learn the ropes for when all our babies are hatched this summer. We also got chatting about all the people that have left our ranks (voluntarily or not) and what has become of them. He cited his dismay at one of our colleagues [B] that was one of the casualties of our “slow down” and has the distinction of being "the one that was sacrificially let go" from our dept. But in the next breath wB reminded me that B “landed well” as he "kinda keeps tabs on him" through a salesman that makes calls on both companies.

And in a different vein altogether, my past musician lifetime came back for a visit. It wasn’t entirely bad - it reminded me that I used to have a hobby [I think I always knew I wouldn’t make a grand living at it, I only had a lukewarm passion for it even at the peak of my “career” – sorry daddy] – and that it is sometimes a definite missing aspect from my life.
The younger brother of a friend of mine that was in the same grade as me and went to all of the schools I did, was recently in a contest through Crate and Barrel for an Ultimate Wedding Giveaway. He is a very talented musician out of Portland or Seattle and his fiancé was diagnosed with a rare cancer recently. With their wedding plans on hold, they signed up as a lark to take some of the pressure off. I was bombarded with reminders sometimes 2 and 3 times a day to visit the site and vote for them. And at one point I even felt compelled to publicize their story on my personal newsfeed.

Just a little reminder to those still reading: Happy Passover. I debated calling my learning partner to see how she is doing with all her family in for the holiday and thought that I might do better to leave her alone until they all leave.


So now onto the dream:
The setting is a one-room school house. I am clearly agitated but don’t know about what.
Then arrives a moustached man (whom I later identified as wB while discussing the dream with a close friend at work) There is no one else around but I begin physically beating this man up. He is obviously taller and larger than me, but he stands there and takes the pounding I am giving him without flinching or really holding me off. He does not cover any of the areas I am attacking or attempt to defend himself in any discernible way.
Once I have used up all my energy on this attack, "classmates" start to appear and "the teacher" - my learning partner - keeps them away from me. The moustached man has gone to tend to his bruises - I never really saw any blood and he was still standing and walking after my beating. Another gentleman swoops in to console me for what I did. He does not speak at all, only lets me collapse against him and shelters the rest of the "classmates" from seeing my shame and agitation. Never mind that "the moustached one" let me get away with it and that the "teacher" went on to sheperd the other students to a different place in the building and tried to get on with things as if nothing happened - giving the impression that things were well handled by "consoling man" and that she would check on things when she was more able to do so.

(I identified the consoling one as B at the same time I realized the moustached man was wB and also that this was my subconscious attempt to come to terms with the work-related "adjustments". One of the topics wB and I discussed that day was the fate of some of our former colleagues and specifically B which is why he was on my mind)

Same day, Act II:
The dream continues in a different setting altogether.
I am on stage in an orchestra setting and still upset over letting myself lose control and physically attack another person. (The other players are really irrelevant other than that there were there. I was aware that the red-headed boy, who I was always in school with-and not his younger brother, the afore-mentioned contestant with his fiancé in the wedding contest- was at the front of the viola section and I was somewhere in middle to the back of the section)
Towards the end of the rehearsal, or the movement, or the piece, I hurriedly walk off stage and am distraught, but not inconsolable, crying in the wings of the backstage area. It was not completely clear if it was a performance or a rehearsal. And the other musicians follow me offstage very soon after, but I could not get off the stage fast enough and even caused a bit of a ruckus in my leaving. It was VERY unlike me in any performance or rehearsal situation I can remember during my actual time as a musician. So that whole bit about me losing my composure in a different kind of "professional" [although a lifetime ago, as a professional-quality student musician] setting in itself was a bit disconcerting as well.

So there you have it - outside influences again pervade my subconscious self.
And my husband and kids who are so much a part of my waking and home life, but completely removed from my work persona are noticeably absent from these dreams.
Do I deliberately compartmentalize all the pieces of my life and is it so blatantly apparent to everyone else too? I wonder...
Thoughts and comments are appreciated but I won't claim to agree with them all outright.

Hyperbole, metaphor, whatever, it's just a thought

I wear my Judaism like a blanket.

Sometimes it is warm and comforting and there for all the world to see wrapped snugly around me.

And sometimes I throw it off like it is constricting and smothering me and making me uncomfortable.

But then later I go and pick it up off the floor, shake it out a bit and wrap it's comfort around me again.

Sometimes it needs a good run through the wash and I can't bear to put it in the dryer for fear of ruining it or shrinking it, so I hang it outside on the clothesline - again, for all the world to see and comment upon as if it is so much unmentionables hanging outside in the sun.

I don't tend to fly it like a flag from the highest pole or the nearest tree, but I don't necessarily hide it from the world either.

Guess this is something that will plague me forever - sometimes less so, but always there at the back of my thoughts.



Can I feel freely Jewish and not have to explain myself for everything I do - like deciding that I can't palate even the thought of knowingly eating shrimp or most pork products (still gottta convince myself that most sausage is pork) or a even a hamburger pizza.

Maybe that's why I've been investigating vegetarian options lately

And I couldn't introduce Boca Burgers at my house for fear of confusing my little ones - how can a cheeseburger be kosher at home but not at McDonalds?



When I was pregnant with Yael, I remember consistantly choosing to wear skirts. I told myself that it was because it was more comfortable for many reasons (and I was STILL trying on a more Jewish identity). Lately I have been plagued with trying to find comfortable pants and just dragged out one of those maternity skirts this AM. Now I remember why I loved them so - may have to return to the skirt trend again. Warmer weather is coming too, so there is also that advantage.

Can I call THIS my parenting philosophy?

What IS a parenting philosophy?
We don't have one. We never really talked about it. We agree on some things, disagree on others and muddle through so we can make it to the weekend to play with the kiddos.
Yoni is signed up for everything - baseball, soccer and I'd like more : martial arts, scouts, paiting, ceramics, t-shirt design, music classes, modeling, acting - you name it - I want him to try it all out and be able to pick and chose what he likes or doesn't
Yaeli miskena (poor thing) gets dragged to baseball and soccer practices and then gets to watch from the sidelines. She sometimes has a ball to play with, but more times than not, I forget to bring her a toy. I keep meaning to sign her up for dance classes (especially since she really wants to be able to wear a pretty pink dress - tu-tus count, right) or gymnastics or even soccer, but I never seem to manage to be able to do it - much less how the logistics would work exactly since I am stuck downtown till after these things begin and mostly can catch maybe the last 15 min or so if I am lucky.
Now I have 2 more boys on the way - what did I ever do to desrve twins and much less twin BOYS??? So Is Yael going to constantly get the short end of the stick because she's the only girl? Or will she be super spoiled because she's the only girl? And will I ever be able to afford anything again???
I know that having twins will change our lives, but how am I going to make it? Day care x2? Clothes and diapers x2, and no extra income on my part for 2 years running.
One interesting thing is that due to the fact that I am going to be out at about the same time as my backup who is also expecting, is that my boss asked for a detailed list of what I do and when. When I jotted it all down. he reminded me to add some extra stuff too. Now it is a pretty impressive list when I look over it, but something that is definately learnable by many. And no, I am not downplaing my abilities or skill set, I just have a lot more that I am capable of than I realized and most of it is self taught since I did not come from the ranks of engineering professionals.

What a wedding!

The wedding itself was beautiful. A formal affair - which, I don't think I've ever been invited to such a thing. The bride was stunning, the groom was impeccable, and MY amazing husband was standing there at the chuppah to be a support for the groom and his family.

However, there were many, many dramatic and even entertaining moments that will make this wedding more memorable than most.

Firstly, it was one of those weddings that almost didn't happen. [keeping it intentionally vague here just in case someone knows or doesn't know of the situation]

The in-fighting between the strong personalities of the families of the bride and groom (and amongst themselves) is the stuff legends are made of.

The groom comes from a well-respected highly connected family (who has a jewelry business as one of their endeavors) and the bride is currently working for a different high-profile jewelry store. As we were exiting the hall, I stood in line behind the bride's store-chain owner and heard him introduce himself to others. It was as if he expected to be recognized and commanded respect by his name alone, but I had no idea who this diminutive man was at the time. Good thing I was respectful and didn't have any off-the-cuff remarks to say.

When asking one of the younger rabbis if there was a particular side of the hall to be seated on, he totally misinterpreted and didn't get the bride/groom connotation, but rather commented that it appeared to be mixed (meaning men and women together) seating and so it shouldn't be an issue. That was amusing - only because of his complete innocence in that it wasn't the question that was being asked of him. But, to be fair, he has a brand spanking new baby at home (like less than a few months old) and so his sleep quotient is likely low at this particular moment in time. Added to the fact that this guy is noted as being particularly jovial for the most part, this could have been an ill-received joke on his part. Either way, it was amusing and I managed to smile about it to myself after we took leave of his presence.

The honors at the wedding were also heavily rabbi oriented. 2 rabbis as witness, one rabbi to read out the ketubah in Hebrew while the officiating rabbi re-summarized it in English. Several of the community rabbis were asked to read sheva brachot with the rest of the honors going to the groom's uncles (Were the bride or groom's father or brothers ever an option here?). The bride did her rotations while being helped by her MIL (to be), her mother AND her step-mother. It was quite a sight when she thought she was going to lose her veil because her mother in law inadvertently had grabbed hold of it along with the train of her dress. If looks could kill!

Strong personalities abound in both these families and in the couple. Their honey-moon trip to some exotic locale is postponed because of passport issues and all they really need to do at this point is get away from all family and friends who think they know what is best for them.

They really just need a chance to get used to living with each other's quirks.

UPDATE: My husband spoke to them two days after the wedding and they are "busy" being newlyweds - Thanks G-d and it is all behind them for now.
I hope they take the advice of the rabbis that were present...
We may or may not still host a sheva brachos reception for them if they want it. Where am I gonna find liabtions to do a l'chaim in my tea-totaller house? - we just aren't big drinkers (anymore-in my case) and give away most of the wine we get too.

Joke of the day

A woman walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer tells her that the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan, so the woman hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce that's parked on the street in front of the bank.
Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls Royce into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the woman returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer approaches her and says:
"We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we're a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked out your accounts and found that you were a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"
"Well, where else in Manhattan can I park my car for two weeks for fifteen bucks?"

6

In honor of the END (I hope) of this year's birthday season for my first-born son who is now six. I must've blinked, cause where did the time go?

Now We Are Six - A.A. Milne
(beloved author of the well known Winnie-The-Pooh character books)

When I was One,
I had just begun.
When I was Two,
I was nearly new.
When I was Three,
I was hardly me.
When I was Four,
I was not much more.
When I was Five,
I was just alive.
But now I am Six,
I'm as clever as clever,
So I think I'll be six now
for ever and ever.

Slimmer who was 'too fat for surgery' sheds half her body weight to save NHS £20,000

For all of us who are struggling with losing weight of any magnitude - I found this article to be truly inspiring. She didn't decide to do it for her daughter or for her family, she chose to lose the weight because she was in constant pain and it has made a world of difference in her outlook on life.

I myself am almost at the weight she was when she started - and I can only blame so much of it on my twin pregnancy. Currently, I am heavier than I have EVER been and I am exhausted a lot of the time. I catch myself breathing hard while not even doing any strenuous activity and it scares the life out of me. I HATE that I am like this right now.

How am I supposed to chase after my 2 little ones if I can barely move myself off the couch. And it is only going to get worse as the pregnancy progresses - I almost wish I might get a touch of morning sickness so I wouldn't be so hungry all the time.

I want to do something about this situation NOW!
Surely there are things a high risk pregnant lady can do to slow the weight gain and keep me off bed rest in the future. I am disgusted with myself and want to get started NOW so it won't be so hard later in the long run.

All suggestions and comments are greatly appreciated.

life's challenges strike again

I just got some disenchanting news that may or may not affect me personally.

The CEO of our long-struggling company has decided to take a position with one of our major investors and step down as CEO of this organization. Strangely, he will continue to office in our office space and be an advisor on our behalf to the board regarding decisions. So he is basically keeping his finger in the pie while distancing himself on paper. This could potentially be a good thing or it could once again spell disaster. Personal problem being of course that my bread-winning job situation is once again possibly in jeopardy.

Recently, our company has been making strides in a positive direction in getting recapitalized in order to free up some money in order to make some money, but I am once again feeling the possible death knoll at the door. This exec that is choosing to leave is one of the few that I respected in the upper eschelons (of course my boss and his boss are not even counted because why would I work for them if it wasn't good on some level - I like my boss's laid-back style, and his boss is a good boss even if he has some personal issues I don't agree with.) We have not gotten raises or bonuses which are almost expected in this industry, and they cut our inflated transportation allowance and our 401K match, but they have recently re-instated the 401K match to half of its former self (which is less than the 10% match that I was getting previously - but that is almost unheard of). Granted, I am not complaining - thankfully I have a very nice benfits package, but it used to be nicer is all...

This is so frustrating ! But in some ways I feel like I am stuck. Who is gonna want to hire someone for 6 months and then wait another 3 for me to come back? And to top it off, I am terrible at interviewing, no matter what steps I take to combat it - role play, etc, I just come off nervous and stiff and not very likeable.

I am really striving to see the positive side right now, so any comments would be appreciated

Blah blah blah - kick - off?

Just felt a definate kick from the one I haven't been feeling so much from before. (10:43 AM)

Been feeling pretty blah the last few days and woke up in the middle of the night shivering again last night. Today it has been really hard to get moving, and yesterday felt pretty crappy most of the afternoon.

Made sheppard's pie last night - cheated on the mashed potatoes and used instant, minus the milk. Yael helped add the "spices" I was too lazy to cut up garlic so I used garlic powder and just for kicks I used Ms Dash to liven up the meat. Then I added a can of tomatoes that had peppers in it - what was I thinking. I couldn't de-spicify that and Yoni wsa NOT pleased.
Tonight he is getting a meal that includes brocolli and corn since he specifically asked for those veggies to be added last night, but it wasn't in my veggie profile for the evening - I wanted peas and carrots in my meat pie. And I made the cardinal sin of adding onions - which he claimed were what made it spicy - and I went with that - go ahead and blame the blanched onions for everything you don't like, kid!

This meal of course was not finished until the late hour of 8:45 since I expected Eran to go to the gym at 9:00. He didn't end up going, but I didn't get started on "dinner" until after 8:00 because the kids had eaten already and it was what I had been planning to make (in my head) for 2 weeks. Too bad it came out spicy - Eran and I liked it :) Also, the fact that Eran closed the store and I worked late and then had to go to a baseball meeting at the JCC - more late night fun. The upside is that I did manange to move Yoni to a team where at least he will know some of the kids. The team I requested to be on was PACKED to the gills with lots of familiar faces and I was irritated that I didn't get to put him on that team despite the fact that I requested it before the reg deadline was over.

Now, I am planning a meaty superbowl feast since I have already ordered a kosher deli lunch box special to be delivered that morning. Maybe I'll go with pigs in a blanket, the kids love 'em! And of course the requisite chips and salsa along with pretzels and potato chips. Maybe also a version of 7-layer dip with no cheese addded...And of course there's always potato or mushroom or beef bureakas with humus and techina and pickles and boiled eggs. Maybe I'll do deviled eggs and stuff them with hummus??? Or an egg salad to complement the deli???
Any other menu suggestions?
Plus, I'm not having many guests if at all - although all who show up are welcome!

Dear oldest child,

Lately, while observing my beloved children, I have seen my patience-trying, not-quite-not-a toddler, "pilpeleet" and my usually more placid oldest son grow before my eyes. The oldest has gone from a spritely toddler to a full-on personality bearing little person, sometimes with a blazing temper (I have NO idea where he picked that up) to match. It is amazing to watch the transformations right before your eyes.

I guess my emotional incubator hormones must be kicking in, but lately I have taken pains to tell my son how happy I am that HaShem chose to give him to us to raise. I even started to draft a letter to him - hence the post title.

Maybe it feels like I give the little one a lot more attention since she DEMANDS it and he is more self-sufficient. For example, last night I offered to take the boy with me to run errands to the store since I always take the girl. He declined at first and then half an hour later he called me (mid-trip) wanting to go to the second store. Since I picked the grocery that most likely had all the items I needed, hoping for one-stop shopping (not necessarily the best or the cheapest or the closest store I admit) I had to disappoint the boy. Meanwhile the girl got to her cranky stage and we both lost our patience, in spite of the Dora DVD that made its way into the shopping cart at the beginning of the trip. Whining that she wanted to weigh things on the scale that I had already passed -for no reason other than to weigh it- promted me to tell her that I wanted a million dollars. A sure sign that I had lost ALL my patience with her. When I got to the car and saw the time it was clear why. Her "witching" hour had arrived and I was caught unaware! Woe is me. We got home as fast as we could after she continued her cry/whine fest because she wanted her library book in the back (with the groceries) instead of next to her - so, I flung it back there in hopes that she would calm down. Not my most proud parenting moments I assure you!

It also may have to do with the fact that the big kid will be "graduating" from the Montessori program they're in this year and will go into first grade next year. And the term Eran has been using to discuss the different programs include ragil (regular, which the school terms as Traditional) vs the Montessori program which is more "flexible" (shall we say? Eran likened it to kindergarten activities for older kids) and more along the lines of what he has been doing most recently. So there is an obvious shift in terms of schooling in that he WILL go to another school next year, weather I like it or not, and he will be considered a "real" student - as if all he has learned up till now didn't count.

So when I finally got home again last night I we were stuck with the State of the Union address on at least 5 TV channels and since it is WAY above their heads (and frankly mine at that hour) I took it as an opportunity to do a little math and spelling lesson. I knew I would be able to read all the highlights and lowlights of the speech on-line today.

I asked the kids if they knew who that man was? They answered his name (kinda) And I asked if they knew what he did? I had to tell them he was President of the United States, but they knew that is where they live. We said that the president had just finished 1 year of his time in his job as president and that is why he was giving this speech on all those TV channels (and they weren't even the favorite channels in our house, so why would we care, but I digress...)
I explained that he was elected for a 4 year job. (Gotta make sure to use terms that speak to your audience.) Then I wanted to know how many years he had left. That was a little abstract so I put my fingers up to illustrate. They got it! So then I told the kids that he may get a chance to keep the job after that for another four years (I was careful not to make this anything political - they need to understand the civics behind the office, not the politics at this point) And they were able to tell me that it could be 7 more years. Mini civics lesson OVER! And as he finished his speech and started handshaking his way out of the room, I hate myself for even thinking/realizing that he was the only black person the cameras showed in a sea of white politicians. Thankfully our local stations showed some of our Congressional leaders' responses, including Pete Olsen, Shelia Jackson Lee and Al Green.

I mentioned that I hadn't seen a book from the teachers in awhile and so that prompted me to try out his oral spelling skills. We did lap and lad and nap and hat and cap. It made me remember the lessons I used to have in my educations courses about how different people learn in different ways. He was able to do most of those words and their sounds (now that he has finally gotten over his ear infections and most recent bout of strep throat with a rash - some people call it scarlet fever) Of course that didn't translate to the page. I am not sure he could recognize all those words easily.

And of course, his fingers are severely peeling since he is (maybe) finally hitting that growth spurt he has been shoveling food down his gullet for the past 3 months in preparation for. We have recently been to 2 snake birthday parties so I said I would call him snake boy instead of monkey boy since he's peeling like a snake. And he replied with a snuggle and said I should call him "snake buddy boy" which turned out to be a real tongue twister for me for some reason. Then he proceeded to poke me full on in the eye with one of those snakeskin fingers [yuck] and it triggered a huge gagging reflex in me. I really thought I was going to lose my dinner (of a most nutritious nature - half a bag of kettle cooked potato chips) all over the living room. I called for a glass of water from my darling in the next room between choking fits and he was TOO SLOW in getting for me. By this point I was crying tears from choking and heaving and he's LUCKY I'm not a puker cause he would've gotten in straight in the face!

This post really took on a more rambling message than I meant. When I began, I meant it to showcase the gush of emotions (pregancy hormones anyone?) I am feeling regarding and around my oldest son lately and not to be a blow-by-blow of the night's events - although there are some that I am proud of and some I would rather forget. But I still WOULD like a million dollars if anyone has that lying around that they want to contribute to my sanity fund.

Enjoy the rest of the week. The weather here is supposed to get awful. Stream-of-consciousness is good (but maybe I need a bell on my nose to let people know when I am chainging the subject - DING!)

another sigh of relief

Don'tcha hate it when you're waiting on test results and then they don't call. I'm talking about the 3 hour glucose tolerance test that I did on Monday after failing the 1 hour screening.

So you figure no news is good news, right?
So it's 3:41 and I'm waiting for the boss to leave at 4:00 when the phone rings.
Right away I see from the caller ID that it is the dr's office. Oh shit!
So I answer the phone despite my trepidation and once she verifies that it really is me she then tells me that "You passed! You passed with flying colors." I was so glad that when I hung up the phone I let out a loud Hallelujah that could be heard two floors down.

Which means that the first stupid hour long scan was not accurate (which I never did in Israel - I only did the 3 hour test or with Yael at all) Or it could be that I made sure to drink a lot of water and eat an orange every day before the 3 hour test. But in any case, I felt like a pin cushion, and the combination of no food and lots of calorieless sugar in my system made for a very yucky feeling all day long even after stuffing my face with lots of carbs and then some protein for lunch.

My favorite phlebotomist who usually is very gentle and I don't even feel the stick, was not so gentle that morning. The fasting poke also had to draw blood for my nuchal translucency test to check to see that all is progressing as it should be.

The fun part of that test was the UltraSound which I brought my mom along to see but they didn't let her back there. During that part of the test there was much movement and the babies look like babies already on the screen. One othe them wiped their brow and the other one had a hiccup and I could see their knees pressed up against the wall of the sac. And we have established a Baby A and Baby B and their positioned side by side rather than one on top of the other. And Dalia the tech who was wonderful was able to see their stomachs were full indicating swallowing already and that the heart rate was 161 for one and 165 for the other. Let the old wives tales arguing over the sex begin!

So glad I got the fun part out of the way early. Then I had to go back to the lab every hour and get more blood drawn. Usually they try to alternate arms, however my second arm was being uncooperative and the first stick hurt and didn't want to give any blood. The second one was also a dud, although it bled for a second after she removec the needle. So we went back tothe first arm and she drew from the same vein as before. And for the other 2 times as well. After the second draw I went up to the dr's office to check with the dr that all was ok and she had to rush off to deliver an emergency C-section and so was running VERY behind. I went back downstairs, had my blood drawn again and then went back to see the dr. Timing was perfect for me, at least 45 min behind for everyone else. She then sent me back to the lab with more blood tests to be done so it was good that we saw her when we did. My mom was there in the room and we cancelled out the fact that I won't have to have the BRAC screening as she has already done it and come back negative. One less blood panel for me to do! :)

Phew! The cat is WAY outta the bag.

Phew! Glad that's over with.
The cat is WAY outta the bag.

My co-worker came into my office late this afternoon asking for the number to the HR manager since she had already closed her computer. I looked it up on the phone for her - no questions asked. She then told me she was expecting. Since she has shared with me in the past some of her many fertility and other womenly issues, I was super excited for her and know she has a lot of pressure on her to make this a healthy pregnancy. I was so happy for her that I hugged her and then told her on the spot that I was having twins too.

Then we found out that we are both due in late July. Not such a good thing for the office. We ran to our supervisor's office together to tell him what we pieced together already. She told him earlier in the day and I had tried twice today and at least once yesterday to tell him about the pregnancy. He then put it together, why I was having so many drs visits lately. This summer will be interesting in our dept to say the least - since we both kinda have the same function. Same but different. And we are both due in late July (mine will probably be earlier, and she may also have high risk pregnancy issues because of all her previous procedures)

And since the higher ups' offices are so close together - sharing a wall, the Sr VP of our dept saw us lurking in our boss's office and wanted to know what was up - I think he was afraid we were both leaving. So now he knows too. Congratulations all around of course, but you could practically see the wheels turning in their heads about how they were going to cover things down the line, and the comments came out about what is IN the water around here?
The company receptionist is due in February, an accountant recently came back from maternity leave and then quit to manage her husband's office. The IT #2 is due in April and one of our manager's wife is due soon after that as well.

And I made Teresa, my office neighbor and all around chatting buddy, call me from her car so I could tell her today too so she wouldn’t be the last to know. I invited her to lunch with me and my friend from HR (who I told today at lunch) and Teresa declined so I had to tell her over the phone. I chastised her that if she had come to lunch she wouldn've found out then.

Not to mention that because this is the beginning of a new year where they finally have some capital dollars to allocate, the bosses are tied up with massive spreadsheets and a million meetings. This is exciting news for the girls, but on the back burner for the boys at least for the next 3 weeks or so.

Tomorrow should be VERY interesting.

When it rains it pours ! :-)

And you thought stupid tests were for high school

I'll just put it out there: I HATE MEDICAL TESTS OF ANY KIND.
Especially when the results don't come out like what the doctor wants and you have to do them again. Or worse - a more invasive version.
I'm done venting - for now.

Channukah Recap 2009

Is it fair to say that I could really do without 8 days of parties and terrible food, etc for Channuka this year. Gifts just didn't find a way to get wrapped between all our parties with friends and family and I can live with that.

Last week we had a craft party on Sunday where the kids made and decorated sugar cookies and a mat to go under their chanukia (and it was laminated so it wouldn't burn, good thinking rebbitzen) - instigating another trip to the shul the following Wednesday to pick it up. This was the same week I made oatmeal raisin cookies with them.

We had a Shabbat Party (as Yael likes to refer to Friday night dinner) for the first night of Hannukah. We decorated the windows and hung a banner and our brightly lit Star of David was hung kid-high on the wall. We had egga latkes and boxed latkes served with applesauce to go with the amazing chicken and grilled vegetables and Israeli salad my husband made - taking into consideration that Aunt Carol is lactose intolerant and therefore postponing my attempt at sour cream with latkes). We put the electric menorah in the front window (can't even begin to compete with the next door neighbor's yard and lights display which won the Civic Club Yard of the Month award) and lit the candle ones in the kitchen so there was enough room for the kids to play with fire alongside Abba.

Aunt Carol's cinnamon crumb cake was the perfect desert before presents and Bubbe and Purpaw joined Aunt Carol and us as the kids got games for presents (Yoni promptly lost one of the pieces to his 4 person Connect 4 (which he later found) and Yael had such fun making the bugs for the Cooties game that it didn't even matter that there was actually a game and turns involving throwing a dice involved in playing the game.

We joined a select group of Israelis and some others from the preschool for a beautiful channukah party at someone else's house that included a gift exchange for the kiddos.
Then we did another small gathering on Sunday at our house for latkes where I could serve my spinach dip and sour cream and applesauce with the latkes cause we did it after dinner. The latkes were a success, but the party was kinda a dud since we were all exhausted from the weekend. But the kiddos got their big present from Bubbe that night - Yoni got a radio controlled monster truck and Yaeli got a baby doll with a costume change including shoes. They loved it!
Another one of their favorite presents was Yoni's Transformer and Yaeli's plush doggy doll.

During the week of Channuka we also had numerous parties lined up to attend each evening, but I was NOT about to go party hopping, especially after a full day of work. So we had the responsible Bubble and Purpaw fill in till we could get there. We had the Shul party with picture taking and contained chaos and then we had the Montessori school party that had bounce houses and lollipops and balloon animals and face painting and a multitude of other general chaos that was truly fun to watch as the kids ran around and played with their friends, but I never knew where they were exactly. Then we had an Israeli style party hosted by the consulate at the Merfish Center the following night, but it was raining and we were pooped so we opted to save it for next year (although, at last year's party, Jonathan's picture made the Chronicle Newspaper)

Yael's class had a channukah presentation/craft on Tuesday and Yoni's was today. Eran made the arrangements to go and be present at both events since the office sent out reminders and I didn't want my children to be the ONLY ones that didn't have at least one parental unit available and present at the class party. I had an office party Tuesday that I took more of the Spinach dip and crackers, etc so that I knew that at least I could eat SOMETHING since the party was a gumbo/chili throwdown. I then played hookey from work on Wednesday claiming to be ill because I had a doctor's appt anyway and was so worn out I couldn't make myself get up and go.

And I also toured a new school for my son who is graduating from Montessori. So with all that we had going on in the last two weeks (including 2 trips to the doctor - changing my BP meds since the one they put me on originally game me a serious case of the shaky hands and arms - like I had overexerted myself by lifting arm weights for 3 hours) is it any wonder I am exhausted and my co-workers claim that I do more outside of the office than anyone they have ever known. So is that a bad thing that my kids actually have playdates when I can squeeze them in and a more active social life than I can ever remember. And is it any wonder that this is how I describe my life right now: "Life is good, but exhausting. But all I really want is to curl up with my family on the couch with some cocoa, some popcorn, a blanket and a good movie."

My current home improvement wish list

So I think we always want a few new things for our kitchen or our house, etc
I want I want I want

I want an interior designer to come and redecorate my living room because I HATE the wood paneling and am still undecided about putting up curtains over the wall of windows (that I wish were French doors) even though you can see straight into our living room from the yard.

I want new kitchen cabinets that are not ugly pressboard and have nice new prettty handles

I want a jacuzzi (or even just a 2nd) bathtub in my master suite.

I want to redo my walkin closet so that you can actually walk in and see everything - and do I really need that outdated vanity nook that is just a waste of space? (unless I can fiind a way to make it my sewing corner - which would mean that I need a decent sewing machine (I saw one at Costco for less than $200 that could do everything but chop vegetables - that's on my wish list too)

And while I'm thinking of small appliances, I want a bread maker and a really nice stand mixer.

I could also use an ice maker dedicated just for that purpose, or a new refrigerator with a built in ice-maker/water dispenser in the door that magically fills itself with food every week or two.

Or I could get a new water cooler/heater that I don't have to rent every month. and then I would just fill up the enormously heavy 5Liter water bottles at the grocery and then carry them inside the house myself - NAH, some things are just worth having delivered!

Oh and I also want a self folding clothes dryer that I don't have to pay for weekly either.
I can do my own laundry and actually prefer doing it, but I don't know how to tell the mostly Spanish speaking housekeeper that I need her to scrub the shower instead of folding my kids' clothes (and then hiding them somewhere in their rooms so that I can't find them when I need them in the frenzy of the morning rush to get ready).

What I really want is the desk that Eran keeps promising to set up for me so that I can have an uninterrupted "office space" altough my kids will undoubtably find a way to undermine my best intentions.

But mostly, I want my kids to sleep in their own beds or at least in their own bedroom. They are not considerate sleepers and hog all the space or steal all the covers which they then manage to kick off in the middle of the night. They have learned not to sleep directly on my head, but I have also been not-so-soft lately in my man-handling of them out of the way when I want to sleep and they are sprawled everywhere. And my Yaeli just sprouted up and is now most definitely a 3-year old and Yoni is packing on the pounds in anticipation of another growth spurt I hope.

We had a fantastic row this morning over the TV which I left on tuned to the news channel in the AM. When Yoni woke up and stumbled into the living room, I was listening to the news reports of heavy fog and where the traffic snarls were from my comatose-looking sprawled position on the couch. However, he grabbed the "shalat" (remote for those not in the know) and changed the channel to the grating sound of SpongeBob first thing in the AM. NOT ACCEPTABLE! He knows there are other acceptable morning cartoons that he can watch on PBS or the Disney Channel if he happens to be awake before me which is rare, but I can not and will not tolerate the vapidness that is SpongeBob first thing in the morning, or for hours on end either. He screamed and cried, I roared and bellowed, and not necessarily in that order. It was the low point of my entire day. The situation was remedied by my esteemed husband who blearily found the remote control battery from last night's Channukah present and distracted the child with his now functioning radio contolled monster truck which needed the battery to be charged up overnight before it was any fun for him.