Phew! The cat is WAY outta the bag.

Phew! Glad that's over with.
The cat is WAY outta the bag.

My co-worker came into my office late this afternoon asking for the number to the HR manager since she had already closed her computer. I looked it up on the phone for her - no questions asked. She then told me she was expecting. Since she has shared with me in the past some of her many fertility and other womenly issues, I was super excited for her and know she has a lot of pressure on her to make this a healthy pregnancy. I was so happy for her that I hugged her and then told her on the spot that I was having twins too.

Then we found out that we are both due in late July. Not such a good thing for the office. We ran to our supervisor's office together to tell him what we pieced together already. She told him earlier in the day and I had tried twice today and at least once yesterday to tell him about the pregnancy. He then put it together, why I was having so many drs visits lately. This summer will be interesting in our dept to say the least - since we both kinda have the same function. Same but different. And we are both due in late July (mine will probably be earlier, and she may also have high risk pregnancy issues because of all her previous procedures)

And since the higher ups' offices are so close together - sharing a wall, the Sr VP of our dept saw us lurking in our boss's office and wanted to know what was up - I think he was afraid we were both leaving. So now he knows too. Congratulations all around of course, but you could practically see the wheels turning in their heads about how they were going to cover things down the line, and the comments came out about what is IN the water around here?
The company receptionist is due in February, an accountant recently came back from maternity leave and then quit to manage her husband's office. The IT #2 is due in April and one of our manager's wife is due soon after that as well.

And I made Teresa, my office neighbor and all around chatting buddy, call me from her car so I could tell her today too so she wouldn’t be the last to know. I invited her to lunch with me and my friend from HR (who I told today at lunch) and Teresa declined so I had to tell her over the phone. I chastised her that if she had come to lunch she wouldn've found out then.

Not to mention that because this is the beginning of a new year where they finally have some capital dollars to allocate, the bosses are tied up with massive spreadsheets and a million meetings. This is exciting news for the girls, but on the back burner for the boys at least for the next 3 weeks or so.

Tomorrow should be VERY interesting.

When it rains it pours ! :-)

And you thought stupid tests were for high school

I'll just put it out there: I HATE MEDICAL TESTS OF ANY KIND.
Especially when the results don't come out like what the doctor wants and you have to do them again. Or worse - a more invasive version.
I'm done venting - for now.

Channukah Recap 2009

Is it fair to say that I could really do without 8 days of parties and terrible food, etc for Channuka this year. Gifts just didn't find a way to get wrapped between all our parties with friends and family and I can live with that.

Last week we had a craft party on Sunday where the kids made and decorated sugar cookies and a mat to go under their chanukia (and it was laminated so it wouldn't burn, good thinking rebbitzen) - instigating another trip to the shul the following Wednesday to pick it up. This was the same week I made oatmeal raisin cookies with them.

We had a Shabbat Party (as Yael likes to refer to Friday night dinner) for the first night of Hannukah. We decorated the windows and hung a banner and our brightly lit Star of David was hung kid-high on the wall. We had egga latkes and boxed latkes served with applesauce to go with the amazing chicken and grilled vegetables and Israeli salad my husband made - taking into consideration that Aunt Carol is lactose intolerant and therefore postponing my attempt at sour cream with latkes). We put the electric menorah in the front window (can't even begin to compete with the next door neighbor's yard and lights display which won the Civic Club Yard of the Month award) and lit the candle ones in the kitchen so there was enough room for the kids to play with fire alongside Abba.

Aunt Carol's cinnamon crumb cake was the perfect desert before presents and Bubbe and Purpaw joined Aunt Carol and us as the kids got games for presents (Yoni promptly lost one of the pieces to his 4 person Connect 4 (which he later found) and Yael had such fun making the bugs for the Cooties game that it didn't even matter that there was actually a game and turns involving throwing a dice involved in playing the game.

We joined a select group of Israelis and some others from the preschool for a beautiful channukah party at someone else's house that included a gift exchange for the kiddos.
Then we did another small gathering on Sunday at our house for latkes where I could serve my spinach dip and sour cream and applesauce with the latkes cause we did it after dinner. The latkes were a success, but the party was kinda a dud since we were all exhausted from the weekend. But the kiddos got their big present from Bubbe that night - Yoni got a radio controlled monster truck and Yaeli got a baby doll with a costume change including shoes. They loved it!
Another one of their favorite presents was Yoni's Transformer and Yaeli's plush doggy doll.

During the week of Channuka we also had numerous parties lined up to attend each evening, but I was NOT about to go party hopping, especially after a full day of work. So we had the responsible Bubble and Purpaw fill in till we could get there. We had the Shul party with picture taking and contained chaos and then we had the Montessori school party that had bounce houses and lollipops and balloon animals and face painting and a multitude of other general chaos that was truly fun to watch as the kids ran around and played with their friends, but I never knew where they were exactly. Then we had an Israeli style party hosted by the consulate at the Merfish Center the following night, but it was raining and we were pooped so we opted to save it for next year (although, at last year's party, Jonathan's picture made the Chronicle Newspaper)

Yael's class had a channukah presentation/craft on Tuesday and Yoni's was today. Eran made the arrangements to go and be present at both events since the office sent out reminders and I didn't want my children to be the ONLY ones that didn't have at least one parental unit available and present at the class party. I had an office party Tuesday that I took more of the Spinach dip and crackers, etc so that I knew that at least I could eat SOMETHING since the party was a gumbo/chili throwdown. I then played hookey from work on Wednesday claiming to be ill because I had a doctor's appt anyway and was so worn out I couldn't make myself get up and go.

And I also toured a new school for my son who is graduating from Montessori. So with all that we had going on in the last two weeks (including 2 trips to the doctor - changing my BP meds since the one they put me on originally game me a serious case of the shaky hands and arms - like I had overexerted myself by lifting arm weights for 3 hours) is it any wonder I am exhausted and my co-workers claim that I do more outside of the office than anyone they have ever known. So is that a bad thing that my kids actually have playdates when I can squeeze them in and a more active social life than I can ever remember. And is it any wonder that this is how I describe my life right now: "Life is good, but exhausting. But all I really want is to curl up with my family on the couch with some cocoa, some popcorn, a blanket and a good movie."

My current home improvement wish list

So I think we always want a few new things for our kitchen or our house, etc
I want I want I want

I want an interior designer to come and redecorate my living room because I HATE the wood paneling and am still undecided about putting up curtains over the wall of windows (that I wish were French doors) even though you can see straight into our living room from the yard.

I want new kitchen cabinets that are not ugly pressboard and have nice new prettty handles

I want a jacuzzi (or even just a 2nd) bathtub in my master suite.

I want to redo my walkin closet so that you can actually walk in and see everything - and do I really need that outdated vanity nook that is just a waste of space? (unless I can fiind a way to make it my sewing corner - which would mean that I need a decent sewing machine (I saw one at Costco for less than $200 that could do everything but chop vegetables - that's on my wish list too)

And while I'm thinking of small appliances, I want a bread maker and a really nice stand mixer.

I could also use an ice maker dedicated just for that purpose, or a new refrigerator with a built in ice-maker/water dispenser in the door that magically fills itself with food every week or two.

Or I could get a new water cooler/heater that I don't have to rent every month. and then I would just fill up the enormously heavy 5Liter water bottles at the grocery and then carry them inside the house myself - NAH, some things are just worth having delivered!

Oh and I also want a self folding clothes dryer that I don't have to pay for weekly either.
I can do my own laundry and actually prefer doing it, but I don't know how to tell the mostly Spanish speaking housekeeper that I need her to scrub the shower instead of folding my kids' clothes (and then hiding them somewhere in their rooms so that I can't find them when I need them in the frenzy of the morning rush to get ready).

What I really want is the desk that Eran keeps promising to set up for me so that I can have an uninterrupted "office space" altough my kids will undoubtably find a way to undermine my best intentions.

But mostly, I want my kids to sleep in their own beds or at least in their own bedroom. They are not considerate sleepers and hog all the space or steal all the covers which they then manage to kick off in the middle of the night. They have learned not to sleep directly on my head, but I have also been not-so-soft lately in my man-handling of them out of the way when I want to sleep and they are sprawled everywhere. And my Yaeli just sprouted up and is now most definitely a 3-year old and Yoni is packing on the pounds in anticipation of another growth spurt I hope.

We had a fantastic row this morning over the TV which I left on tuned to the news channel in the AM. When Yoni woke up and stumbled into the living room, I was listening to the news reports of heavy fog and where the traffic snarls were from my comatose-looking sprawled position on the couch. However, he grabbed the "shalat" (remote for those not in the know) and changed the channel to the grating sound of SpongeBob first thing in the AM. NOT ACCEPTABLE! He knows there are other acceptable morning cartoons that he can watch on PBS or the Disney Channel if he happens to be awake before me which is rare, but I can not and will not tolerate the vapidness that is SpongeBob first thing in the morning, or for hours on end either. He screamed and cried, I roared and bellowed, and not necessarily in that order. It was the low point of my entire day. The situation was remedied by my esteemed husband who blearily found the remote control battery from last night's Channukah present and distracted the child with his now functioning radio contolled monster truck which needed the battery to be charged up overnight before it was any fun for him.

Kidisms

Yoni was sitting on my lap today and asked how do you spell 100. So I spelled for him h-u-n-d-r-e-d. But that's not quite what he meant. He said no, Mommy, 1-??? so I clued in and started to say 1-0-0 when he got a case of the giggles and chimed in "1-0-armpit." Outta the mouths of babes.

And Yael has been hooked on a book that has a few nursery rhymes in it including Dinah blow your horn and Jack and Jill. The first one has I've been working on the railroad only Yael's improved version when she "reads" the book to herself is 'I've been working on the rainbow'
Then Jack and Jill go up the hill to get a "drink of water" and Jack comes down "with his crown" and Jill comes "running after him". I think I like her versions better.

And who can decide when I am Mommy and when I am Imma? It seems to be a lot more Imma lately. Not exactly what I chose for myself, but then Abba has become Daddy amonst the kid set when they refer to him. And he has always been Abba.

Snow Day and weekend activities

Yael and Yoni and I made the recipe from the box of rolled oats for oatmeal raisin cookies. We destroyed my kitchen in the process and it made me realize even more that a stand or even hand held mixer would be a good ivestment for these kinds of projects.
Yael actually tried the finished product, but it took Yoni some convincing as the first bite he took was hot and he spit it out immediately with a pronounced "bleh"
We only baked one dozen and I rolled up the others and put them in the freezer for a hostess emergency. Since they are made with parve margarine, and it only takes 10-12 minutes to bake them unfrozen, I figure a half hour notice might give me the chance to actually take a plate of homemade slice and bake cookies somewhere when needed. :)
Next to try, the Amish sugar cookies which you apparently can make into all kinds of shapes and then decorate - great hannukah craft that we just did at shul with a bunch of other kids...
And then the peanut butter and nuttella recipe that I found that I will have to make when Jonathan isn't around because he doesn't like peanut butter or chocolate spread on his sandwiches. Who does this child belong to?

Now I have to get all the paperwork from my mother in law's trip to the ER together to send to Israel because they need to get reimbursed but more importantly because apparently she fainted yet again. It has not been a good afternoon for my husband. What can he do from here? She is in hospital in Afula doing the same tests she had done here 2 weeks ago. If she's lucky - we are talking about socialized medicine...
He is really concerned that something may really be wrong because she acted a lot out of character for what he remembered. But I spent a lot of time with her on my own and she was just happy to buy a lot of American goods to show all her friends at home. Maybe there really is something going on. He's afraid of a big neurological event that might leave her without her faculties and then where will we be? Yikes, to even think about something like that!

He may be attuned to what is going on with them more than he would like to admit. Even before he got the message he was tense. We don't generally have shouting matches over miscommunication isues, but we did today, and a crying fit to follow and really all over something important but silly. He didn't realize my fears and I didn't understand where he was coming from and it all blew up out of proportion, but really over nothing at all. But ugly, hurtful things were said and cannot be taken back and it proves that we really need to watch and think about what we say before we spout off - especially in anger.

Snow Day

Or at least half of one.
We Texans don't know what to do when it snows in Houston, so we shut everything down.
Kids have early dismissal at 12:30
My office is closing officially at 12:00 Noon.
And my parents are in Louisiana to miss all the fun.

It snowed mixed with rain all the way to school to drop off the kids and then all the way from there to downtown. Nothing is sticking to anything yet, but the kids could see it on the windshield and in the air. Very exciting. It should make for a VERY interesting weekend.


That red stuff in the middle of the picture is the rain/snow mix. Captured at Friday, Dec. 4, 2009 at 10:15 a.m. CST

Happy half-day/snow-day Friday and extra time to play in the kitchen (to get ready for Shabbat).

Gratitude Journal - Giving

One thing I was happy to be grateful for is my husband and his generous heart which I made sure to tell him thusly:
I told him: One of the things I love about you is that when you have "extra" money, [we'll call it that for lack of a better term] you are quick to share it with others who may need it more than you. For me that is more of a challenge, maybe because I pay the bills, maybe because it is in my nature to want to save for a rainy day - all the while hoping that day never comes or that I will recognize it and actually be willing to let go of the hard-earned nest egg.

We as a couple have always been willing to share our home with our friends and family. For example: in the first year of our marriage, we had guests sleeping on our couch for various periods of time...My friend from the WUJS program who crashed with us for about a month, my cousin who came to visit with an open-ended ticket, but found a job and a place to live rather quickly on his own (once I pointed him in the right direction), one of Eran's childhood friends who needed a place to go to get away from his nasty divorce and to get started in his new life.
These were the good times. When we needed help, we were also quick to lean on our family and friends for the same.

Recently we went to a family function where a new, young mother is struggling to care for her newborn and to look for a job. She is also looking for direction at this point in her life. My husband came into some money unexpectedly and without a second thought gave her a generous portion - not as a loan to be repaid, but as a gift to help her out immediately. Can't we all use a little extra "folding money" as my grandma used to call it?

Also, another childhood friend of his was recently willing to leave his life and children behind and give the American dream a shot. He was very spontaneous about the whole thing and did not do the proper planning and prep that would normally accompany such a drastic thing. He did call once he was in California and we pointed him in the direction of the nearest Chabad so that he would at least be able to get a Shabbat dinner and a place to stay. He never called us from Israel about these plans, had he done so we might have been able to help him from this end - a place to stay, job, etc. He pretty much set himself up for failure - answered an ad in a newpaper in Israel and got on a plane with the Israeli attitude of "yiheh beseder" - it'll be ok. He then told us the sob story that he was here with basically the shirt on his back and not much else, so we eventually FedExed him some cash - which we all know we'll never see again.

Eran's answer to me when I reminded him of these things as an example of his generosity was that he didn't expect to see the money he "loaned" to his friend or the young mother, but he came into virtually the same amount unexpectedly so it was meant to be...for him to have the money in order to share it with those who needed it more than him at that time.

Another small example of the power of tzedakah - when I sent a donation to a fund for a friend who had just had a baby and then fell seriously ill, I accompanyed the check [which was 3 times the amount I expected/meant to give - when I sat down to write the check, it's just what came out] with a note about the mitzvot that some of us had been doing in merit of a full recovery. The day the check posted to my account, coincidentally, was the joyful day that her husband was able to report that they had taken her completly off all respirators - that she was conscious and breathing on her own and that he was grateful to see her smile return to her face.

For me there are always tangible and poignant signs of the goodness of Hashem - and I don't have to look very hard to find them. They pretty much bash me over the head and say "appreciate me!"

Gratitude Jounal: Entry 1

I'll start with 5:

1.This morning I am grateful that I took an extra two minutes to watch a bluebird in our tree with my kids. It then flew to the fence and a red bird joined it there. Then the kids pointed out a scampering squirrel after both of those beautiful birds flew away. This incident is what prompted me to start this journal in the first place.

2. I am grateful for the wonderful friends that made such a beautiful Sheva Brachos last night for one of our JWRP sisters. Congrats to Sarah and Daniel on the beginning of their new, beautiful life together. I wish I could have done more to help with the preparations, but the rebitzen said I basically planned the menu and sent some great recipes that they used!

3. I am grateful that the day the tzedakah check posted to the bank is the day all the news of SBR's strides on the road to recovery were posted. Maybe it was just the fact that I sent in a check, or the fact that I sent in more than I should have, or maybe there is no correlation - it was still a good coincidence.

4. I am grateful that my kids are who they are. Jonathan feels things deeply and takes things very much to heart and Yael is a force to be reckoned with.

5. I am grateful that we are going to Louisiana for Thanksgiving to see that part of the family that will be there. We'll miss the others, but I won't have to put together a dinner party, my in-laws will be on their best behavior, and we can play with the baby Zoe and cousin Charlie! And a change of scenery just might be the best thing for everyone.

That was certainly a mish mosh...But stay tuned.
Tomorrow's entry will come sooner. We are off of work at 12:00 Noon! So glad I chose to take Monday as my switch out Friday holiday off so I could take the in-laws to the airport. Score! Extra time off!!! A calculated guess and strategical move on my part (I expected them to close up Wed at 2 PM)

Gratitude Journal

This is a new thing I am going to try. I heard about it from a "granola-yoga-y" lecturer this summer in Israel and read about it again today. UPDATE: Here is a link to an article on this subject by the woman who ran the workshop that I took in Israel. She also spent some many years on an Indian ashram before "finding" religious Judaism. My original comment about her stands.

Plus, lately I have been being very hard on myself - what with all the stresses of being a major-income earning mom, in my family, in this scary downturned economy.

I will try to log 5 things daily that I am grateful for without having any repeats.
Apparently this is a growing process and the first 100 are supposed to be the easiest....I'm thinking I might run out after 10 or so easy ones....We'll see how this goes.

More to come

Is it bad that my children have more abundant social lives than I ever did?
And that despite just wanting to sit on the couch and veg out I somehow find the time and or energy to buy and wrap gifts and then take them to all the parties they are invited to.
This weekend's parties made up for the recent lack of activity.
Eran's friend came over Saturday night and brought Bolt for the kids to watch. I made popcorn - easy enough and then I remembered that I had bought the ingredients to make a banana pudding pie, with a nilla wafer (instead of graham cracker) crust - so I did. Then it didn't quite set up right, but was yummy all the same.
We had recently been on a Target run and bought a few toys for our kids. It's a good thing, too, because those toys which had been riding around in my car for a month or so, found their way into the house and got wrapped up Sunday morning as birthday gifts.
The 6 year old got the bucket of dinosaurs or airplanes or animals - I'm not sure what-lots of pieces to keep him occupied, the 3 year old got the memory game and a princess face painting set, the 2 year old got the nerf lawn bowling set.
And I got to run kids back and forth to all the myriad events. Then of course, because they are still little, we get to stay with them.
Eran did the first party shift with the older kids - where since Yael was not specifically invited (despite the fact that it was held at her very favorite place) I spirited her away from there and to my mother's house to partake of the vats of cookie dough that lay await in her freezer. She tired of this quickly, so it was good that we only had an our to kill. When I came to pick them up at the end of the party, the older boys were glad to see Yaeli and the mother was like "for next time, siblings are invited, of course". Lot of good that does me now. And I had had such a terrible experience of overinviting and including siblings for Yoni that I was not going to inflict that on another mother.
Yael's party was at 3 so we had time for a leisurely family lunch. Then off to the races. I took the boys home and Yael and I picked up the gift for the 3 year old. It was for one of her friends from her old school that she hasn't seen in a year, so she was shy for like maybe a second. then she was enthusiastically dancing with Daphne and Ethan and still standoffish with Addy and Moriah. It was AWESOME because it was dancing and bubbles and scarves and all kinds of fun kiddie instruments. Not to mention that some of the songs they danced to were the Wiggles songs that we dance to off of YouTube in our living room. So Yael knew just what to do and I got my favorite workout in - dancing around with my giggling girl. It was exhausting for my outta shape self, but I also got to catch up with some old friends for a few minutes between putting on party hats and putting mangled straws in juice boxes and going to the potty.
Then we went to a fancy shmancy Gymboree party. Which was really a combination of the two other parties with extra languagues, some parachute "popcorn", real pizza and ice cream thrown in for good measure. I figured the kids would be worn out and full from the pizza and ice cream, but they weren't, and I had to make them some cous-cous when we got home. I was annoyed about that...first it was too hot, then it wasn't soupy enough (I worked hard to get that extra moisture absorbed)
Eran had gone solo to a friend's party because Yoni had fallen asleep and it was already late for Yaeli who had no nap. So of course, Yoni woke up the minute we hit the house and Yael fell asleep soon after eschewing her food.

My favorite Yaelism of the day:
Mommy give me your face, I want to shake your face off.
She then proceeds to grab my head and shake it.

Also, mommy I need to tell you sumfing...

aarrgghh...and promises of more to come

Read this first.

OK. Now read on....

Since Facebook has turned into my medium of choice to exchange news - and I am just scratching the surface of twitter, this outage has made my morning ritual of updating and catching up on people's statuses, frustratingly almost impossible. I am shaking my fist in the air at those pesky hackers!

And I was thinking in the car on the way into work what an abomination it is that I waste so much time doing it in the first place. Especially since I heard this AM that the Marine Corps has banned these social networking websites from its computers, etc - effective immediately. And how can they do that - oh yeah, its the military - Glad to be working in the private sector (even if it has lost its luster recently)
Now I have to go cold turkey from my addiction too - NOT FAIR.

And I have lots to share lately:

• My whirlwind trip to Israel and all the intrinsic go-withs..., reflections, new friends and experiences, not enough time to see everyone and everything, travel delays, etc
• Astros game - fun, non-dramatic times with the kids and even my dad - who graciously sprung for a yummy dinner and parking. Good times! It deserves its own post with pics (hopefully coming soon)
• A tragedy -in a family other than my own- that [still] rings close to home.
• A family member who went for surgery and I am thirsty for updates from his immediate relatives to let us know how it went...

Plus I have special plans for this afternoon/evening that I want to make sure are still viable considering the circumstances - the kid friendly fun part of them have already been cancelled.

Finally - I was given a juicy work analysis project yestereday that I just can't get focused on because of all these other things going on and my recent dry spell has made me lazy in the actual real "use your valuable learned skills" work dept...

Glad we in my family like to be spontaneous and can be flexible. :)

More to come

recent investments in my marriage

1. We recently went shopping together. My husband wanted a new sofa that I hated the instant I saw it. So instead we bought a house full of furniture. We picked out pieces we liked and didn't like together. I had the final say, but we made the decisions together.

2. our weekend wedding getaway to Florida for his boss's brother's wedding. I had never even MET the bride, but we got along famously. I even liked her friends. Why was this trip important? for several reasons...firstly, we are not beach people, but we still had some fun in the sun. It was alone time that we really needed - and the kids were ensconced in their new room at Bubbie and Purpaw's house. And, since I didn't know most of the guests, and spoke the same language as the family, I could be unihibited and was treated like family for the whole event. The fact is that the bride and I actully have a lot in common and other than the fact that I have nearly 10 years and two kids on her, I can see us being friends.

3. we had a spontaneous waterfight in the yard - just the two of us. He sprayed me with the waterhose after a particularly raucous screaming match where I nearly hyperventilated because I was so worked up. It totally disarmed me and reminded me of a previous waterfight where we both sprayed water at each other, in the early stages of our relationship, in our first apartment. It was exactly what I needed to relieve the tension and bring me crashing back down to the reality that what we were screaming about was just misaligned anger about other things going on in our lives. I didn't even bother to hose him down - he got his point across without saying a word - and I let him keep that victory.

I have made some missteps too recently - including mentioning his weight struggles and diet choices in front of his co-workers. BIG mistake that I realized as soon as the words left my mouth - but I had no way of correcting other than to be aware of it and steer clear of it next time around. They are the people that he has interaction with on a daily basis and who am I to draw attention to my percieved flaws - to them or to anyone else for that matter.

I believe in moments. Like when you are running, and both feet leave the ground. Unsustainable. Impossible to capture. Transcendent.
-Anonymous author, Marie Claire magazine

Since I am on an excercise kick which is changing my life-I finally had the lightbulb moment-I found this quote quite intriguing. I could almost feel the air beneath my feet which were both planted on the ground in front of me under my desk when I read it.

Words can mean so much.

On that note I want to mention how I also realized some of my conscious or unconscious thoughts that I don't even share with my immediate family may be causing them unconscious harm. What I mean is like this - I think of my son as being smaller than other kids his age and might even refer to him - in thought - as a runt. That doesn't detract whatsoever from my infinite love for him and my joy in watching him grow. However, he may pick up on the fact that I think it is a problem. For example when he was on this year's baseball team, I voiced my concern over starting him in the league too early, despite the fact that some of the kids on his previous team were in the same league. About mid-way through the season, I realized that because he was a bit smaller, he might get an extra pat on the head or a little extra coaching - to his advantage. It was also ironic that the one friend that we were closest with was the oldest and tallest kid on the team. We made it throught the season and next year I will keep my qualms to myself.

That was hard

So yesterday on the spur of the moment my darling husband mentioned that there was a Lag B’Omer bonfire at the shul/school down the street from us and why don’t we go?

Ok – I said shrugging off the tiredness of the day. So away we went.
It was super fun!

You try keeping track of 2 small kids in the throng of people while it gets progressively hotter and the bugs come out to feast on you. Then throw in some darkness, and a huge bonfire to keep them away from. It was total chaos, but oh such fun!

Yoni came back soaked from head to toe from the fire hose – and I was mortified until I learned that he wasn’t the only one.
It was so hard to let him go and have fun with his friends, but I did the best I could. I gave him a visual boundary (ME: DO NOT, under any circumstances, go past that tree there - do you see – the one 5 feet from the fire pit) and let him at it. He was laughing and screaming and having a grand time. Until he got tired. Then he was a little whiny. But it was hard for me to let him go and have fun...not Israeli enough I guess.

Yael also had a great time and she was the belle of the ball. Someone had dressed her in a very cute blue and white checked frock with a collar and rutching with mushrooms. She also got to see all her teachers – old, new, favorites and not so much. She also had a side pony tail that was just too adorable (I, unfortunately, was not responsible for any of her outfit)

Here's a picture of a different outfit of my beautiful tomboy princess:

Gotta love the barefoot tree climber in a pink organza (Is that what you call that material?) dress

Here's another on, just to show that this was not a one-time affair:and that both my children are barefoot tree climbing monkeys. Just goes to show anything is possible if you don't tell them they can't do it, they'll show you they can.

Yaelisms - Part II

I knew I'd forget some and so of course I did -

BIG-ONE: It is never enough for Yael to say something is big. It is always "Big One" and said like it is the biggest deal in the whole world, and I guess it is to a two year old - For example: "I want apiece of chocolate. Oh, big one"
Or I want to have some toilet paper (which she calls paper towels) - the same size as always but it is "big one".

Pretty hair: anytime we brush her hair or put it up in pig tails or a pony tail. I ask her if she wants to do pretty hair and she will run and get her brush and ponytail holders. Trying to explain coo-coo (pony tail in Hebrew and peek-a-boo too) is just too hard.


She either has the littlest bladder I know or is still in the I hafta see every potty in every place we go to stage. We go at least once everywhere and sometimes up to 5 times within an hour.. Guess it is fun for her to feel like she has control over SOMETHING.

But we always give the kids choices...meat or chicken? [fish is not an option since Eran doesn't like the smell - but I'm trying to win him over to tilapia]
Flat (cheese quesadilla with tomato salsa) or rollada (cream cheese or hummus in a tortilla)

My kids are great helpers in the kitchen as long as you know that you will have 2 individual helpers and not that they will help each other.
When I make "Israeli" salad - cukes and tomatoes with some lemon juice and olive oil dressing, I cut up the veggies pretty small and Yael puts them in the bowl and stir. Then Yoni helps add teh dressing and stir.
Yoni makes the best matzah balls. When I make them they come out like leaden cannon balls, but his come out nice and fluffy. He also does nicely making guacamole. And you know what - if you let them help you make it, they are more likely to eat it - even if they are picky eaters. Some of my kids' favorite foods are GREEN: cucumbers, grapes, guacamole, apples - WHO KNEW!

Before I forget them:

Here is the latest installment of the Yaelisms. Sorry it's been so long since I've written. Life just got in the way as usual.

• We have recently been singing the Baby Bumblebee song a lot – over and over and over again. She asks for it by saying “Bee song” and doing the “buzzzzz” movement with her hand landing in her other hand like a buzzing bee… So for those who don’t know and love it, here is our version [- the words in RED are interchangeable]:
  
  Cupped hands swinging back and forth:
  I’m scooping up my baby bumblebee
  Won’t my mommy be so proud of me
  I’m bringing home my baby bumblebee
  Open hand and look wounded
  Spoken: OUCH! It stung me
  Then Yael usually asks me to kiss her finger and I shake my hand as if it was stung
  
  Making squishing movements with hands
  I’m squishing up my baby bumblebee
  Won’t my mommy be so proud of me
  I’m smushing up my baby bumblebee
  Open hands and make a “yucky” face
  OOH YUCK!
  
  Wiping hands on pants or shirt
  I’m wiping off my baby bumblebee
  Won’t my mommy be so proud of me
  I’m cleaning up my baby bumblebee
  Open hands out to the sides and say
  ALL CLEAN!
  
  We usually sing it at least 3 times in a row and sometimes she twirls around and around. Very cute :)
• She calls Grandpa Stewart “Purpaw” cause she can’t quite make all the correct sounds for Grandpa. I then call him “Purple” just to tease her and she laughs and says “no, not purple, mommy – purpaw”…So I think we have a new kid friendly nickname for Stew – Purpaw Or Grandpa Purple: And you and I have no say in the matter – the child has spoken.
  
• When we talk to him on Skype [it’s the new landline don’t ya know] she always wants to know where’s Bubbe? Cause the first time we did this Bubbe was in the background watching Law and Order on the couch and she waived at us. Now she thinks Bubbe should be there too, even if she knows that Bubbe is in Conroe or sleeping in her bed.
  
• We are taking Yoni to a modeling audition this weekend to see if he has what it takes. If he gets it, the prize includes an advertising campaign and a scholarship to Page Parks which is where we wanted to go anyway. This is a FREE way to see if he really does have what it takes – but I just don’t want to be one of those stage moms. So I’ll tell him to be the best he can be, don’t scrunch up his face when he smiles, to do what they tell him and that’s that!
  
  
  

oops...

I forgot to mention in the last post that my response to my "newfound" cousin's revalation that we were indeed related...

"Nu, so are you coming for Peach or what?"

I thought it was funny ;)

Now, really my biggest concern about Pesach will be the Ashkenazi majority versus the Sephardic minority (of which we comprise). Eran has always had kitniot and rice for Pesach and luckily I have my learning partner with just the same familial situation as me so I have a resource to use and pick her brain.

Purim songs abound at our house - and Tu B'Shvat too still...

It's just been that kinda day...
My personal family tree grows and grows and grows.

A girlfriend who had a Tulane connection to New Orleans who has always seemed sweet and nice and (attracted isn't the correct word, maybe drawn? to me).
Turns out Jewish geography strikes again.

My mother's father and her mother's father were related (either brothers or cousins - I missed that part) meaning that her mother and my mother were first or second cousins making us second or third cousins.

When I told my mom that Ruthie so and so is her mother, my mother said yea - Ruthie had twins. My friend is one of those twins and her twin brother just got married a few months ago.

Small world!

Then I called the neighbor lady whose kid is in Jonathan's class. Turns out she grew up here in Houston around the corner on Renwick. Another small world. And her Israeli husband grew up in Haifa and is going to Israel in March just like someone else I know - more on that later :)

Gotta go now and get the $$ to pay the sitter. Yuk!
Have a nice day and just remember what a small world we live in

It's official, but lets keep it under wraps for now...

I am going to be headed to Israel this summer. click here for more details. Posting it here (finally) makes it feel more real somehow.

I was hand-picked and invited to attend a women's only "mission" to Israel with a truly motivational woman teacher and speaker along with 29 other females from my community. My weekly learning partner is expecting a baby this summer (b'shah tovah) and so she will not be joining us, which makes me kinda sad because it would be so fun to see Israel with her. [There's a whole other post about that - me emailing her to stop reading if she was pregnant when I wrote to her about the story of my sister-in-law's tragedy and her having to keep reading cause she couldn't disclose it yet]
There will be a total of 100 of going on this trip (which is the 3rd of the summer for Lori) with our group consitiving of Denver and Dallas and Houston (I think)

The night we learned the nitty-gritty details about it, Lori gave a keynote speech about "Tests from Hashem". Since I had to grapple with accepting this opportunity for a couple of weeks, I classify this trip as yet another "obvious" test for me.

• The invitation was presented and I had to hesitate because how on earth is Eran going to keep our household together while I am away?


• But, it is SO affordable, thanks to generous donations from sources unbeknowst to me, that how could I NOT go?


• How do I know I was hand-picked? The whole thing was cloaked in secrecy. We were invited to dinner but not allowed to see the guest list. When we were checking in, my entry on this list was just my first name. [Ed. note: I finally have something in common with Madonna. I am so well known in certain circles that no surname is even necessary - at least that's how I'm going choose to see that.]


• There is a general criteria for going. Must be over a certain age (otherwise you could go on birthright), 75% of us have children at home or that still use your address as their permanent one (college kids count) and I'm sure there's more but that's what I remember.

So now I really have to renew my US passport which expired about 2 years ago.

I kinda feel like this will be similar to the whirlwind trip I took with Pilgrimage as a teenager, but I am at such a different place in my life that it just has to be different. There is already an evident split amongst the participants we met that night - older vs younger, but it should make for an interesting mix and maybe some long-lasting friendships as well.

I wonder how I will fit in seeing all the multitude of friends I have to see in Jerusalem (and family in the North)...I might just have to do like Sam and Carlye and have a certain evening dedicated to visiting everyone at once. Maybe in the hotel lobby.

Plus, there was mention of a big "naming" ceremony at the top of Massada. I HATE climbing Massada - and at my current level of activity, I will surely choke and pass out before I make it there. Gotta get on that! TODAY. {As an aside, I heard on the radio this morning that "The Biggest Loser" is holding a casting call in Houston on March 7. Anyone want to join me there?}

So now you know - back to life as usual!

another responsive post

A good friend of mine who is married to a rabbi (you know who you are) wrote this: “…my secret fear for my children is that they will go off to school and nobody will play with them, because I as the parent am totally powerless to do anything about that. If someone were to make fun of my child, insult my child? I would simultaneously be murderously outraged and also shrivel like a shrivelfig, because... how can I fight that!?”

I had other people at the old school tell me that my darling daughter would “have no friends” because she was the aggressor. They also set her up for failure and brought in a social worker to observe without my knowledge or permission, but that is a different post altogether.

That comment didn’t bother me at all like you seem to think it would. What I am concerned about when I send them off to school is that they learn all kinds of things. Sure it will be hard when they realize that we don’t play with everyone else on weekends, etc., but we have our own issues and set of circumstances and some of those kids are not who I would want my kids to associate with anyways. We have to believe that our kids are smart enough to make good choices and that the teachers and learning that we instill at home will carry to the classroom, playground and beyond. I don’t know about you, but I’m trying to raise mensch-es who understand yiddishkeit in a non-Jewish world where they are always going to be different. I am still coming to terms with that as an adult and to make things more difficult on my kids, we have a parent who has a VISIBLE difference than everyone else. That will inevitably be something hard for them to deal with in life and I am getting inklings of it already…But I love him, and them, and will instill that in them - no matter what the other people think. He will always be different no matter where he goes and that is a great part of what makes him who he is…I think we could all learn a lot from the easy-going nature that he was given on the inside from HaShem because of who he is on the outside.

If we were in Israel, my children would be America’im and here they are not exactly Israeli, despite their names, but they ARE different than the American Jews that we are in constant contact with at this stage. I am so thankful I moved them to a different school, I just cannot be something that I am not – a part of THAT clique. Nor do I want to be. I am still struggling even at this point in my life with my Jewish Identity and I think maybe I always will.

Maybe that is why we are not back in Israel yet. I think that the journey we are on will eventually end up there again, but for now, we are where we are and we will make do with that.

PS I was given a smattering of details about an interesting tour to Israel this summer and will be considering it in the next few days - if it is possible and if it is the stair step that I have been searching for to the next phase....will keep you posted.

response to the worldwide effort to support our israel soldiers

I didn't email and ask for a single soldier (I think all the soldiers need our special prayers and thoughts), but thought that others might want to so I helped spread the word in my little way.
Then I saw this article today http://www.aish.com/jewishissues/israeldiary/Praying_for_My_Soldier.asp
and had to email you on the spot anyway for a name or a brigade or something.

I learn (and schmooze) once a week with a program called Partners in Torah (I think it was Females in Torah before that) and I know my rebitzen is sometimes rather suprised that I am there every week despite the everyday pressures of being a a working mother of small children. I made that commitment to myself and that it is something important to me, so I make it happen. [Like the mail service, come rain or high water, snow or sleet - that's big in Tx]

So, now that the intial steps are being taken on a tentaive cease fire in Gaza, there are still plently of dangerous situations for our soldiers to be in. (My husband's uncle died many years ago in a car crash, while in the line of duty, and is still recognized every year) I want to have the privelege of having my "prayers, good deeds and the like" be for myself, my family and for klal yisrael, not just a single soldier or brigade.

Unfortunately, the "war" against the Jewish people is ongoing and may be defined by certain military actions, but as a Jew living in galut [not-in-israel] and with day-to-day struggles with anti-semitisim, the war for me is always fought on many fronts.
I am many times (and have been for alot of my life) the only Jew in my work environment, my school environment, amongst many uneducated people who always corner me to ask more about being a Jew.

Thanks for letting me vent.

It is what it is.

This is the new catch phrase that I am hearing all over the office.

Week one of new school behind us and all ok, so far.
Kids are getting used to a shorter day and now I have to make sure my help will still be able to continue to help. Her family is complaining because there is no food to eat at 7PM when she is leaving my house. We are now trying to let her take the kids to her house, whatever it takes, but who knows - I certainly don't know if I want my small kids coming home to ask me about the strange man who is hanging on some wood on the wall at her house. (we visited her house when we left the kid sleeping there to go out on Sat. night.)

We had an impromptu belated Chanukah/birthday gift exchange with the kids and the Aunt Carlye and Uncle Sam faction at our house on Rampart. We had just had the exterminator out (again) for roaches and we had torn the kitchen apart so he could spray everywhere. Entertaining in that situation was not the easiest. I couldn't find plates or cracker or much of anything. But we managed, and the kids loved feeding their handpainted piggy banks from Aunt Carlye. Eran REALLY loved the hand crocheted kippa so much that he put in an order for a green and white one. He later told me (I don't know why he didn't tell Carlye) that he had always wanted a handmade kippa and he is already getting ready to wear it.
I can't wait to enjoy my new book (Cool Jew) and bath products from the new line of Lush by Levine....all at the same time.
This gift fest went on at exactly the same time as a birthday party for one of Jonathan's best friends from his former school and tee-ball/soccer team, etc, but I didn't have the heart to tell anyone about that at the time. I think it was also too early for Jonathan to see his other school friends anyway. there is another birthday party scheduled this week that I will be sure to attend so that we keep up appearances.

We celebrated Dad and Carlye's birthdays at a restaurant that I have been intrigued to try for some time now. It was good, but did not live up to the hype for it that I had built up in my head. And Eran was suffering with a toothache and so he was totally not impressed.

Found out that the engineer who was at the same company as my former nemesis MM had the office directly across from her and was none too impressed with her work. That was right after he dumped a copying project that he didn't want to do himself on my lap. We seem to spend an awful lot of time just chatting with me looking wistfully out his window, but as long as the work gets done, no one seems to care all that much. He's the one my boss deemed to be requesting "rock star" salary and so I have secretly refered to him as rock star for a while now. Seems like maybe he's become new favorite engineer to work for. Although one of the other ones really wants to be my favorite since he always comes and chats with me in my cube.

Today, despite the flailing economy and volatile oil and gas prices, our company annouced its standard of living increase. They were originally going to take away our $100/month parking allowance raise from earlier, returning it to the starting $100/month allowance, but there was an outcry (not from me, altough losing that would have made my raise relatively insignificant) and they overturned that judgement. Also there were a spate of layoffs and it was announced that one of the satellite offices was being shut down.

And sometime in February I will actually get an office with a door. No promise of a window yet, all that needs to be ironed out by the big boys. Maybe it had something to do with the day I took an hour online training and in order for no one to bother me I put a piece of adding-machiune tape across my entry way with a note mentioning that I was in training and to come back later.
The current VP had a good sense of humor about it and I hope it was taken in the right way.

Interesting times for sure!

The rally that was to take place the same night as our birthday celebration garnered some 200+ members and the police wrote at least 12 tickets to the protestors on the other side of the stree. There was a rally planned tomorrow at the Israeli consulate, but it was moved because there is a protest now planned against the Holocaust in front of the Holocaust Museum. That is simply unacceptable! It is deliberatley planned on a Friday afternoon so the Jewish population can not counter it with great numbers. What an abomination, but admittedly a clever tactic.

Facebook friends from HS - Love em or hate em? I have one new one who I remember as being somewhat outspoken, who considers himself an activist - and despite my strong feelings about all that is going on in Israel, I am only one person. I attened the major rally at Beth Yesh and stood and sang and prayed with my people. But I am not one to draw attention to myself at this point where it could harm my children. As it is I am laughing off the anti-semitic remarks of my colleagues because what else am I to do. I go to my "bible study" once a week just like they do, but I have a political cause and agenda now which is a little uncomfortable place to be in for me. And I have friends and loved ones who are in a war zone with sirens and bombs and soldiers being injured and killed. I have always been the token Jew, but it now more than ever is a dicey situation to be in. I forget that not everyone is as knowlegeable as myself about the issues and I truly try to get a balanced picture before I make any statements, but I think that this is a deserved action and that HaShem is watching over us because of the minimal collateral damage and the relatively low rate of causalties/injuries to our side. How else do you explain that in such a fierce fire-fight?

I'll start with a joke and we'll go from there...

This explains all you need to know about Israeli-Palestinian politics.
What happens when a fly falls into a coffee cup?

• The Italian - throws the cup, breaks it, and walks away in a fit of rage.
• The German - carefully washes the cup, sterilizes it and makes a new cup of coffee.
• The Frenchman - takes out the fly, and drinks the coffee.
• The Chinese - eats the fly and throws away the coffee.
• The Russian - Drinks the coffee with the fly, since it was extra with no charge.
• The Israeli - sells the coffee to the Frenchman, the fly to the Chinese, drinks tea and uses the extra money to invent a device that prevents flies from falling into coffee.
• The Palestinian - blames the Israeli for the fly falling in his coffee, protests the act of aggression to the UN, takes a loan from the European Union to buy a new cup of coffee, uses the money to purchase explosives and then blows up the coffee house where the Italian, the Frenchman, the Chinese, the German and the Russian are all trying to explain to the Israeli that he should give away his cup of tea to the Palestinian.

Eran's been grumpy lately, especially since the war in Israel may soon have a second front. http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,477745,00.html

This is what I did last night in support of Israel, while he stayed with the kiddos and watched a movie. http://www.myfoxhouston.com/myfox/MyFox/pages/sidebar_video.jsp?contentId=8212710&version=1&locale=EN-US [One of these days I'll figure out how to use the video upload feature]

Singing Hatikva used to get me choked up every time. Last night they had both Hatkiva and the Star Spangled Banner on the program, in the wrong order. Someone mentioned that the State Dept protocol insists that the US national anthem be sung last...I chose to make Alyiah in 2000, so I am both Israeli and American-like a lot of people at the event. What difference does it make when you sing what anthem?

Yesterday they didn't mention Rabin's assaination when we sang Shir LaShalom, but that is what got me more choked up. That was really the catalyst that drove me back to Israel in the first place.

Another friend is organizing a show of support and I will be on the bandwagon then too.
Never been much of an activist but always have had strong opinions.
How can you make your opinion count and show your support?

Hasbara in the Private Sector of Corporate America

So Jan 5, 2009 was the first day back to work for many folks in the West after what seemed to me like an eternity of holidays and time off...We did go to South Texas for a week and have Chanukah celebrations with some friends, but then Israel went to work in the Gaza strip and tried to ruin our vacation, pretty hard when I was adamantly refusing to even look at the computer, my main source of news.

On that first day back to work, I had a chat with my immediate supervisor. It went something like this:
ME: Glad to see you, I'll be in my cublicle listening to the war if you need me.
BOSS: Oh, OK. How is that going anyway?
ME: [with lights in my eyes] There is a real serious fire fight going on right now - it's dark over there you know.
BOSS: Oh. And how is the price of oil? [I work in Oil & Gas don't forget]
ME: I think it's going up.
BOSS: Then let em at it. As long as it keeps the price of oil up and saves our butt {and keeps us working.)

Did I mention my boss is one of the real good ole boy network? The economic downturn has really hit us hard since the price of oil fell from $90 when we were proposing budgets to when the bottom fell out and we were scrambling to get all the production volumes up.

So on that first day back to work, I spent the whole morning with an earphone in my ear listening and watching the Israeli TV reports of the up-to-the minute fighting. And I still managed to get my work done too...Glad we women can multi-task so well.

WORLDWIDE EFFORT TO SUPPORT ISRAELI SOLDIERS

"Operation Tefillah, Torah & Troops," which was launched by Rabbi Simcha HaCohen Kook, the Chief Rabbi of Rehovot, Israel, and the Bostoner Rebbe (Rabbi Levi Yitzchak Horowitz) of Har Nof, Israel, partners people from around the world with soldiers in the IDF. Each person who takes part in "Operation Tefillah, Torah & Troops" is paired with an Israeli soldier, and is responsible to say tefillot (prayers), learn Torah, and do special acts of chesed (kindness) on behalf of that solider.

Rabbi Kook and the Bostoner Rebbe noted that this concept is one that has been a part of the Jewish people for thousands of years. When Moshe Rabbeinu (Moses) led the Jewish people to war with the nation of Midyon, for every person who went to battle, there was a designated person who was responsible for praying and learning for him. Throughout his reign, David HaMelech (King David) utilized this practice as well. During the war in Lebanon in the summer of 2006, more than 50,000 people worldwide participated in this initiative spearheaded by Rabbi Kook and the Bostoner Rebbe, and facilitated in North America by the National Council of Young Israel.

To participate in "Operation Tefillah, Torah & Troops" and receive the name of an Israeli soldier who needs your prayers, send an e-mail to the office of Rabbi Kook at maortlmo@gmail.com. To request the name of a soldier by phone or fax, call the National Council of Young Israel at 212-929-1525 x100, or send a fax to 212-727-9526. Members of the IDF who wish to have a "partner" praying for them are urged to e-mail the office of Rabbi Kook as well.

Rabbi Pesach Lerner, the Executive Vice President of the National Council of Young Israel, noted that every tefillah that is said on behalf of a soldier will make a difference, regardless of where a person may be in religious observance.

"Each soldier that is putting his or her life on the line to defend the land of Israel and safeguard the Jewish nation deserves to have someone praying for their well being and safe return," said Rabbi Lerner, "During my conversations with Rabbi Kook, he emphasized that every Jew is encouraged to participate in this critical endeavor and to pray for a soldier in a manner in which they feel comfortable, irrespective of their religious background."

Last Joke

I thought the last joke was funny when I posted it. Now I don't find it quite as amusing with infantry soldiers firmly on the ground in Gaza.

So I heard another one that day that works a lot better if you tell it rather than read it, but here goes:

What do you call a fish with no "eye"?
FSH.

Get it?!?

Please keep your rotten tomatoes to yourself. These are almost the kind of clean jokes you can share with kids, kinda....

I have to do something to keep my mind occupied...both my kids are starting a new school on Monday, but tomorrow I have to get through a joint birthday party for 2 of the popular boys that Yoni will be sad to say goodbye to...UGH!!! And I had a long chat with his current Pre-K teacher which was both good and bad - she is both too close and not close enough to the whole balagan (mess) to be objective. I think what will come out of it is that we will become friends as her college-aged daughter left this PM for a 10 day Birthright tour of Israel. Impecable timing! I think I will be the one to calm her down about all that her baby will be going through.

And I don't remember the last time I had such painful CRAMPS!!! TMI - I know, but how much suffering can one mother be expected to take? Give me morning sickness over this bit any day!

Update:
Just in case you thought I forgot, I am seriously keeping an eye on developments in Israel and the region. When things start to heat up on the Northern border (let's hope that doesn't happen) I will seriously get nervous. But for now, I have a few friends who will be affected (BeerSheva, Arad) and Jerusalem will be on alert for unusual martyrdom, but for now, I dont think I personally know any soldiers that have been called up to serve in the immediate confict. But we are still concerned that all our soldiers return home swiftly and safely to their families. Tzav 8 is always a miserable state to be stuck in - you have to leave your daily life and family behind at the drop of a hat to keep your country and your brothers in arms safe in some of the most difficult fighting and situations ever. Not an enviable position to be in as a highly trained military position.

Here's a silly joke to start off the new blogging year:

What branch of the military do babies join?
The infantry, of course.



Enjoy and have a wonderful Shabbat.

Update

So I finally spoke to Eran's mother after the week of them being out of pocket and then us being on the road. Almost as good a source as the horse's mouth - I guess.

Turns out, all is not as bleak as originally thought.
As we know, the baby was born early but she breathed on her own and died shortly thereafter. She was born very early (as we know) and she was also apparently very under-developed for that stage of the pregnancy. Something about the placenta pulling away I think.

The fact that the baby breathed on her own was something I did not know before. And whether or not Helen had to make the decision to end her (the baby's) life is irrelevant, because the baby and G-d made the ultimate decision for her. Helen did have the chance to see her and said that she was beautiful - and I'm happy to know that is one of the good memories she will have to take with her from all of this.

It seems she did have some other fluctuations of BP so they kept her another day or two at the hospital. And as far as being able to have more children, they do not rule it out completely, but it would have to be under strict medical supervision from the get-go. This is Israeli medicine after all and they are VERY supportive of bringing Jewish babies into the world. I am glad to know that they didn't do anything as drastic as medically incapacitating her reproductively and keeping her from the possibility of ever having any other children.

But in any case, I am still thinking of her daily and I hope she can weather this storm as well. I'm sure she is sick of hearing that at least she has a son...and to be strong. She still had to go through the scary pregnancy and all the trauma that ensued and she didn't get to bring home a baby in the end. I say she should be able to cry and scream and be by herself and mourn for how ever long it takes, but that's not how it is in reality...The show must go on.

The crappiest Monday ever

I woke up this morning after having a disturbing dream about mice

which according to my brief web-based research means that I am being plagued by a multitude of niggling little nuisances that are a vital part of my current life which is eating away at my sanity in a semi or unconscious state. Basically I have a lot of small issues that are taking a lot of my energy to deal with for example, choosing a school for Jonathan (and/or Yael) next year, surviving the terrible 2s with a child who has been set up for failure by her school, dealing with insurance companies so I will have a car when the month ends, paying my multitudes of bills that come with owning a new house and getting kids home at a decent hour, dealing with the incessant questions - if I have dealt with this, that or the other...
BTW...the answer is always NO just leave me alone, I have a lot to do right now.


So begins my regular Monday morning routine, with the remnants of the dream about the mice running behind the chest of drawers in my kids' room and in the kitchen in the filth that is pervading there behind the refrigerator.

Meanwhile, I spent most of the previous day (Sunday) playing with my adorable children. We colored together and played Hide and Seek (Yoni hid in a cardboard box and under his bed twice and I hid behind the couch - too hard for him to find me, under the kitchen table and then under the dining room table making noise so he could find me easily. Yael and I played with blocks all the while I was strongly debating whether I wanted to attend a fundraising dinner for an organization I respect and feel strongly about. I just wasn't in the mood - but I took a shower, got dressed and made up, put on a happy face and went. It wasn't bad after all. I saw lots of friends and despite the lengthy speeches and accolades to people I didn't know, the evening was actually quite enjoyable. Plus as an added bonus, I got to spend the whole evening with Eran, sans my lovable little attention-mongers.

Once I stepped into the car this morning on the way to begin my carpool and regular routine, I somehow was hit by an allergy attack that lasted from 7:30ish AM to about 1 PM. I was sneezing uncontrollably and felt miserable to boot. Runny nose from all the sneezing, probalby a bit of a fever at one point, plus as an added discomfort, trying to solve other people's problems while not feeling so well myself and conscious of the fact that people probably wanted me to go home and not get them sick. I probably should've downed some DayQuil. But then, just as soon as it started, it was over with only the lingering sinus drain that will make sleeping in the same room with me impossible (I'll be snoring so loud the neighbors will hear).

Then long about 11:00 AM our SVP and management team member calls us in to the small conference room on our floor for a brief meeting. NOW!
We were given no clue as to its agenda, but since I have close proximity to his office, I heard him call out to his Admin to send out the email invite to only employees and not contractors - never a good sign, when he wants to exclude contractors it pertains to employees only. Previously he has congressed the whole dept in his office for various announcements regarding personnel changes or sent out an email.

Here's the shocker. After chit-chatting aimlessly about college football with the early comers (is that a word?), he smilingly "dropped the bomb" as it were and announced to us that he was retiring effective in 2 days and would not be back in the office following the Thanksgiving holiday this week. SHOCKING!!!

He graciously declined a company-sponsored retirement party (according to the other senior management representative that was at the meeting, who praised his work for the company) and apparently he still has lots of his personal money tied up in investments with the company. And so he will be gone but not forgotten. He personally hired many of the staff, and some came to work here just to work for him.
I suppose the writing was on the wall in some respects and my immediate supervisor and I have such an open relationship that he promised to fill me in at a later date, probably once he has left the building...


Then to top it all off, I got the worst news of all.
Eran's older sister who has a history of heart problems since she threw a blood clot at age 20, was already on bed rest at home and due to give birth to a baby girl in March. Eran only managed to tell me bits and pieces throughout the day, but it seems she was not feeling well and went to visit her doctor. The doctor ordered her an ambulance on the spot and she was sent to the hospital as there were problems with the placenta. Vague on the details I know, but I was getting a third-hand report from a MAN, who was upset to hear the news to begin with.
Helen was to spend the rest of the pregnancy in the hospital on bed rest so as to monitor her health and that of the fetus. Apparently she went into pre-eclampsia and was rushed into surgery where they delivered the baby. I am not clear on the details, but the one thing that is clear is that the baby did not survive. I do not know if the baby was alive at birth and died soon after, or was deemed too "broken" to survive and "euthanized". I don't get the impression the baby was stillborn. There was either a lost struggle for life or a decision was made to cut it short. In any event, on top of the tragedy of losing this baby prematurely, Helen has now been medically barred from having any more children since her history was of a heart condition and premature births due to pre-eclampsia (her older son Lidor was also born prematurely and she was on bed rest due to PIH and pre-eclampsia with him as well).
Needless to say, Eran is crushed and heartbroken. We can only imagine the grief she and her husband Asaf and Eran's parents must be going through. And of course Eran feels trapped here in Houston and that his hands are tied. Sending him to be with his family is not an option financially for us right now and they are so distraught I am not sure if it would be a good idea for him to appear in the midst of all this drama. There is more to the story of Helen, but hopefully she has left that period of her life behind her and will not consider venturing that way again.
Oh and it seems that Asaf, Helen's husband was let go from his hi-tech job not long ago, and was recently in a car wreck week that totalled his car as well, and that he also walked away from it.

Then when I arrived home after dropping Eran off at shul this evening, I expected to see our new housekeeper/caregiver home with the kids. I forgot that Eran had given her a few extra dollars last week so that she could go out with them and do something fun. She arrived back at the house around 10 after 7 (when I had asked my mother to meet her at the house at 6:30 as that is our arranged pick-up time at the house). She claimed that she had so much fun that she didn't want any extra money for the time she played with them [did I mention she has 5 teenagers of her own at home?] My mind had only started to race to bad thoughts when my mother and aunt brought up the possibility, but my mother's fighting instinct was not going off (call it mother's intuition or spidey sense or whatever) and I have a trusting relationship (albeit it short-lived and fraught with language barriers) with this person not to mention that she came with excellent recommendations from a trusted source or two. My mother and aunt didn't know all of this though.

She arrived home with the kids and they were all excited about having gone out to play with her. All's well that ends well I say. Then my teenage cousin Brian joined us for dinner while we gave Eran some alone time and Jonathan was immediately in love. Yoni had a new best friend and Brian was the object of some major hero worship - I hope it gave him a boost in confidence too.

So today is one that goes down in the history books as pretty damn difficult.
And now Eran is potentially jepordizing our Thanksgiving trip to be with family, despite the fact that it is exactly what would do him good right now. He loves the people we are going to see and spend time with and they love him right back! Plus some other family (you know who you are) are joining us this year from far afield and we are excited to see them as well.

We'll see what tomorrow brings. I am certainly glad to be able to be here to navigate all these obstacles with Eran and that he is here to travel this road with me. Hope we'll be having some lemonade soon :)

Yael's Birthday Parties

I'll actually be posting pics here when I get some...so watch this space.
She had a party at the JCC on Sunday and it was really fun for everyone. Even I got to enjoy myself, which is rare. Thanks to all the helpers. More info soon. Back to work.

Nes Gadol Hiya....

Hanukah is on the horizon, but I am talking about a modern day miracle that happened to yours truly.
Here is the text to the email I sent out to my co-workers:

From: Brenda Namer
Sent: Wednesday, November 05, 2008 11:34 PM
To: OpsUsers
Subject: accident

On the way home from the office yesterday (Wednesday) I was in a major automobile accident and totaled my car. The accident happened in front of a fire station and they sent me to St. Luke's, in an ambulance on a back board and in a neck collar. I am thankful that I literally walked away from the accident unscathed, but spent the majority of the evening at the hospital getting checked out.
Thanks,
Brenda

What I didn't say to them because they don't need all the details is that I was alone in the car, my kids were already taken care of for the evening and the first responders at the fire station were able to reach Eran in an instant. I was seriously shaken up and incurred a few pretty multi-toned bruises, but thankfully no major damage was done (I had multiple x-rays and a doctor checked for internal injuries) and they discharged me pretty quick with a prescription for some pain killers. Some of the questions they ask you when admitting you while you are duct taped to a back board with a neck brace are downright scary. As you can see from the pictures, I was sure lucky to be able to walk away much, less unscathed.

I recall seeing the other car at the very last instant, but had no way to stop in time and I am 100% sure that I had a green light. He turned into my lane in front of me and I have a vague memory of seeing his Isuzu trooper in the parking lot of the fire station and him speaking with one of the other firemen while I was being treated.
Thank goodness it happened in front of a fire station, the best place it could have happened if it had to happen, and I was given treatment on the spot. I got out of the car on my own and walked across the street to the curb where they tended to me and my high blood pressure. They were able to call Eran and I was able to speak to him, but not enough to calm him down. I told him that I was walking, but that I was going to the hospital. He proceeded to yell at me that my cell phone was without battery, as it is perpetually broken, lost or not charged up. The first responder apparently spoke to him at least 4 times and kept him abreast of where I was headed.
They also had cones out and flares and started directing traffic to clear out the chaos almost immediately. I am lucky I didn't lose consciousness and other than being in a serious state of shock with my BP soaring, it was a sight to behold for all the onlookers, I'm sure.
I was wearing my seat belt and the air bag deployed but I truly think that HaShem was watching out for me on that fateful drive as I was contemplating some of the things I had discussed with my learning partner the night before. I only knew the airbag had deployed because of the smell and the wafting smoke that barely pervaded my consciousness at the time. In case anyone forgot, it was after a much similar event that my grandmother was involved in a car accident and was awake at the scene and passed away later in the hospital. And some of the thoughts that ran through my head were instantly about Eran and the kids. And earlier in the day, I was commenting that I felt like I was just beginning to feel truly comfortable with who I am professionally and personally.


"Carit Aveer" in Hebrew an airbag literally translates to "air pillow" - get it?

When we went to check out the car at the impound lot, it was one of the more impressive wreckages there. What used to be the front end was smushed up into the winsheild as you can see from some of these pics.
Maybe I should call Toyota and thank them for their feats of engineering that made me able to walk away from a such collision and offer to be a spokesman.
All of these heroes gave me a chance to re-examine my life and to be grateful for the friends and family that were able to help and give me a chance to live a more fulfilling life.

Beer and Taxes

I think this an interesting example -yes I got it off a political blog -but it speaks to me in everyman terms. Not saying I agree or disagree, I'm just saying...

Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:

The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay $1.
The sixth would pay $3.
The seventh would pay $7.
The eighth would pay $12.
The ninth would pay $18.
The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.

So, that’s what they decided to do. The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve.
“Since you are all such good customers”, he said, “I’m going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20″. Drinks for the ten now cost just $80.
The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free. But what about the other six men - the paying customers? How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his “fair share?”
They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody’s share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer. So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man’s bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.

And so:
The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings).
The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33%savings).
The seventh now pay $5 instead of $7 (28%savings).
The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings).
The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% savings).
The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).

Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to drink for free. But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings.
“I only got a dollar out of the $20,” declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man, “but he got $10!”
“Yeah, that’s right,” exclaimed the fifth man. “I only saved a dollar, too. It’s unfair that he got ten times more than I!”
“That’s true!!” shouted the seventh man. “Why should he get $10 back when I got only two? The wealthy get all the breaks!”
“Wait a minute,” yelled the first four men in unison. “We didn’t get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!”
The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.
The next night the tenth man didn’t show up for drinks, so the nine sat down and had beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn’t have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!

And that, boys and girls, journalists and college professors, is how our tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore. In fact, they might start drinking overseas where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.
David R. Kamerschen, Ph.D.
Professor of Economics, University of Georgia

This is of course a light hearted way to poke fun at “the system”, but still yet an interesting look at the North American tax system. It also observes how we can sometimes get caught up in our own worlds such that we lose sight of the forest through the trees.

my Hurricane Ike story in a nutshell

This is the message I sent to some of my work colleagues:
Our Houston office is finally back open for business. The office had power but low water pressure last week, so they kept most of us away till today.
We were truly blessed here in Houston. At the very time of the storm we were moving out of our apt and into our new house that we just bought in August and everything worked out very well. The four of us (myself, husband and 2 small kiddos) spent our first night at the house on the night of the storm. The apt sustained some serious water damage (and soon had mold growing on the ceiling-just great for my respirator-ily challenged son), but my not so for my neighbor [who shares a staircase] Her bedroom roof was blown away and the ceiling collapsed - so we were also lucky there. The apt had power pretty quickly, but only our section of the complex. So since all the furniture and most of our other belongings were already at the new house, we just slept on the floor in the apt enjoying the AC, a small television [that ran the news most of the time and PBS for the rest], picnic meals on the living room floor, and shuttling back and forth between houses. I had been living at my parent’s for the previous week or two. The kids’ school is still without power so that is another major challenge. Their schedules are all off and they are mighty sick of grown-ups and yard work.
The new house dodged a bullet as the tree limbs that fell, fell in the yard. In my parent’s neighborhood, there were a few trees that fell ON houses and toppled over with roots and the sidewalk intact and blocked the roads. Needless to say, they are without power and lost all their food in the fridge/freezer. They moved in with us to be in the AC and to use the stove and fridge. The new house got power back on Friday afternoon. Those of us fortunate enough to have power are feeling guilty for enjoying it while so many others are without, but we are sharing with family, friends and neighbors as much as we can.
Yesterday my Aunt and cousin came back from Austin and moved in with us too. They had a downed power line on their roof and a fire to go with it till the power went out at their place. So I am back to sleeping on the floor in the kids’ room - my aging parents naturally need the bed, and my aunt and cousin got the couches, and the kids need the comfort of knowing we’re nearby. We’re definitely a full house, but we are lucky that we don’t have serious damage to contend with.
Hope all is well with you all. Be in touch.

What I didn't mention to my colleagues is that we got power at the house at about 2PM on Friday, which gave us enough time to prepare for Shabbat and warm dinner which had been shipped in from New York. We had also offered some friends to keep their freezer running at the apt, but they opted to travel to Dallas for Shabbat instead. I truly believe that Eran was right in not removing the mezuzot from the apt until all our stuff was out and for not letting us sleep in the house until all the mezuzot were up there as well (2 days before the storm, and after we had the kitchen kashered) He just knew that it needed to be that way! AMAZING!