That was hard

So yesterday on the spur of the moment my darling husband mentioned that there was a Lag B’Omer bonfire at the shul/school down the street from us and why don’t we go?

Ok – I said shrugging off the tiredness of the day. So away we went.
It was super fun!

You try keeping track of 2 small kids in the throng of people while it gets progressively hotter and the bugs come out to feast on you. Then throw in some darkness, and a huge bonfire to keep them away from. It was total chaos, but oh such fun!

Yoni came back soaked from head to toe from the fire hose – and I was mortified until I learned that he wasn’t the only one.
It was so hard to let him go and have fun with his friends, but I did the best I could. I gave him a visual boundary (ME: DO NOT, under any circumstances, go past that tree there - do you see – the one 5 feet from the fire pit) and let him at it. He was laughing and screaming and having a grand time. Until he got tired. Then he was a little whiny. But it was hard for me to let him go and have fun...not Israeli enough I guess.

Yael also had a great time and she was the belle of the ball. Someone had dressed her in a very cute blue and white checked frock with a collar and rutching with mushrooms. She also got to see all her teachers – old, new, favorites and not so much. She also had a side pony tail that was just too adorable (I, unfortunately, was not responsible for any of her outfit)

Here's a picture of a different outfit of my beautiful tomboy princess:

Gotta love the barefoot tree climber in a pink organza (Is that what you call that material?) dress

Here's another on, just to show that this was not a one-time affair:and that both my children are barefoot tree climbing monkeys. Just goes to show anything is possible if you don't tell them they can't do it, they'll show you they can.

Yaelisms - Part II

I knew I'd forget some and so of course I did -

BIG-ONE: It is never enough for Yael to say something is big. It is always "Big One" and said like it is the biggest deal in the whole world, and I guess it is to a two year old - For example: "I want apiece of chocolate. Oh, big one"
Or I want to have some toilet paper (which she calls paper towels) - the same size as always but it is "big one".

Pretty hair: anytime we brush her hair or put it up in pig tails or a pony tail. I ask her if she wants to do pretty hair and she will run and get her brush and ponytail holders. Trying to explain coo-coo (pony tail in Hebrew and peek-a-boo too) is just too hard.


She either has the littlest bladder I know or is still in the I hafta see every potty in every place we go to stage. We go at least once everywhere and sometimes up to 5 times within an hour.. Guess it is fun for her to feel like she has control over SOMETHING.

But we always give the kids choices...meat or chicken? [fish is not an option since Eran doesn't like the smell - but I'm trying to win him over to tilapia]
Flat (cheese quesadilla with tomato salsa) or rollada (cream cheese or hummus in a tortilla)

My kids are great helpers in the kitchen as long as you know that you will have 2 individual helpers and not that they will help each other.
When I make "Israeli" salad - cukes and tomatoes with some lemon juice and olive oil dressing, I cut up the veggies pretty small and Yael puts them in the bowl and stir. Then Yoni helps add teh dressing and stir.
Yoni makes the best matzah balls. When I make them they come out like leaden cannon balls, but his come out nice and fluffy. He also does nicely making guacamole. And you know what - if you let them help you make it, they are more likely to eat it - even if they are picky eaters. Some of my kids' favorite foods are GREEN: cucumbers, grapes, guacamole, apples - WHO KNEW!

Before I forget them:

Here is the latest installment of the Yaelisms. Sorry it's been so long since I've written. Life just got in the way as usual.

• We have recently been singing the Baby Bumblebee song a lot – over and over and over again. She asks for it by saying “Bee song” and doing the “buzzzzz” movement with her hand landing in her other hand like a buzzing bee… So for those who don’t know and love it, here is our version [- the words in RED are interchangeable]:
  
  Cupped hands swinging back and forth:
  I’m scooping up my baby bumblebee
  Won’t my mommy be so proud of me
  I’m bringing home my baby bumblebee
  Open hand and look wounded
  Spoken: OUCH! It stung me
  Then Yael usually asks me to kiss her finger and I shake my hand as if it was stung
  
  Making squishing movements with hands
  I’m squishing up my baby bumblebee
  Won’t my mommy be so proud of me
  I’m smushing up my baby bumblebee
  Open hands and make a “yucky” face
  OOH YUCK!
  
  Wiping hands on pants or shirt
  I’m wiping off my baby bumblebee
  Won’t my mommy be so proud of me
  I’m cleaning up my baby bumblebee
  Open hands out to the sides and say
  ALL CLEAN!
  
  We usually sing it at least 3 times in a row and sometimes she twirls around and around. Very cute :)
• She calls Grandpa Stewart “Purpaw” cause she can’t quite make all the correct sounds for Grandpa. I then call him “Purple” just to tease her and she laughs and says “no, not purple, mommy – purpaw”…So I think we have a new kid friendly nickname for Stew – Purpaw Or Grandpa Purple: And you and I have no say in the matter – the child has spoken.
  
• When we talk to him on Skype [it’s the new landline don’t ya know] she always wants to know where’s Bubbe? Cause the first time we did this Bubbe was in the background watching Law and Order on the couch and she waived at us. Now she thinks Bubbe should be there too, even if she knows that Bubbe is in Conroe or sleeping in her bed.
  
• We are taking Yoni to a modeling audition this weekend to see if he has what it takes. If he gets it, the prize includes an advertising campaign and a scholarship to Page Parks which is where we wanted to go anyway. This is a FREE way to see if he really does have what it takes – but I just don’t want to be one of those stage moms. So I’ll tell him to be the best he can be, don’t scrunch up his face when he smiles, to do what they tell him and that’s that!
  
  
  

oops...

I forgot to mention in the last post that my response to my "newfound" cousin's revalation that we were indeed related...

"Nu, so are you coming for Peach or what?"

I thought it was funny ;)

Now, really my biggest concern about Pesach will be the Ashkenazi majority versus the Sephardic minority (of which we comprise). Eran has always had kitniot and rice for Pesach and luckily I have my learning partner with just the same familial situation as me so I have a resource to use and pick her brain.

Purim songs abound at our house - and Tu B'Shvat too still...

It's just been that kinda day...
My personal family tree grows and grows and grows.

A girlfriend who had a Tulane connection to New Orleans who has always seemed sweet and nice and (attracted isn't the correct word, maybe drawn? to me).
Turns out Jewish geography strikes again.

My mother's father and her mother's father were related (either brothers or cousins - I missed that part) meaning that her mother and my mother were first or second cousins making us second or third cousins.

When I told my mom that Ruthie so and so is her mother, my mother said yea - Ruthie had twins. My friend is one of those twins and her twin brother just got married a few months ago.

Small world!

Then I called the neighbor lady whose kid is in Jonathan's class. Turns out she grew up here in Houston around the corner on Renwick. Another small world. And her Israeli husband grew up in Haifa and is going to Israel in March just like someone else I know - more on that later :)

Gotta go now and get the $$ to pay the sitter. Yuk!
Have a nice day and just remember what a small world we live in

It's official, but lets keep it under wraps for now...

I am going to be headed to Israel this summer. click here for more details. Posting it here (finally) makes it feel more real somehow.

I was hand-picked and invited to attend a women's only "mission" to Israel with a truly motivational woman teacher and speaker along with 29 other females from my community. My weekly learning partner is expecting a baby this summer (b'shah tovah) and so she will not be joining us, which makes me kinda sad because it would be so fun to see Israel with her. [There's a whole other post about that - me emailing her to stop reading if she was pregnant when I wrote to her about the story of my sister-in-law's tragedy and her having to keep reading cause she couldn't disclose it yet]
There will be a total of 100 of going on this trip (which is the 3rd of the summer for Lori) with our group consitiving of Denver and Dallas and Houston (I think)

The night we learned the nitty-gritty details about it, Lori gave a keynote speech about "Tests from Hashem". Since I had to grapple with accepting this opportunity for a couple of weeks, I classify this trip as yet another "obvious" test for me.

• The invitation was presented and I had to hesitate because how on earth is Eran going to keep our household together while I am away?


• But, it is SO affordable, thanks to generous donations from sources unbeknowst to me, that how could I NOT go?


• How do I know I was hand-picked? The whole thing was cloaked in secrecy. We were invited to dinner but not allowed to see the guest list. When we were checking in, my entry on this list was just my first name. [Ed. note: I finally have something in common with Madonna. I am so well known in certain circles that no surname is even necessary - at least that's how I'm going choose to see that.]


• There is a general criteria for going. Must be over a certain age (otherwise you could go on birthright), 75% of us have children at home or that still use your address as their permanent one (college kids count) and I'm sure there's more but that's what I remember.

So now I really have to renew my US passport which expired about 2 years ago.

I kinda feel like this will be similar to the whirlwind trip I took with Pilgrimage as a teenager, but I am at such a different place in my life that it just has to be different. There is already an evident split amongst the participants we met that night - older vs younger, but it should make for an interesting mix and maybe some long-lasting friendships as well.

I wonder how I will fit in seeing all the multitude of friends I have to see in Jerusalem (and family in the North)...I might just have to do like Sam and Carlye and have a certain evening dedicated to visiting everyone at once. Maybe in the hotel lobby.

Plus, there was mention of a big "naming" ceremony at the top of Massada. I HATE climbing Massada - and at my current level of activity, I will surely choke and pass out before I make it there. Gotta get on that! TODAY. {As an aside, I heard on the radio this morning that "The Biggest Loser" is holding a casting call in Houston on March 7. Anyone want to join me there?}

So now you know - back to life as usual!

another responsive post

A good friend of mine who is married to a rabbi (you know who you are) wrote this: “…my secret fear for my children is that they will go off to school and nobody will play with them, because I as the parent am totally powerless to do anything about that. If someone were to make fun of my child, insult my child? I would simultaneously be murderously outraged and also shrivel like a shrivelfig, because... how can I fight that!?”

I had other people at the old school tell me that my darling daughter would “have no friends” because she was the aggressor. They also set her up for failure and brought in a social worker to observe without my knowledge or permission, but that is a different post altogether.

That comment didn’t bother me at all like you seem to think it would. What I am concerned about when I send them off to school is that they learn all kinds of things. Sure it will be hard when they realize that we don’t play with everyone else on weekends, etc., but we have our own issues and set of circumstances and some of those kids are not who I would want my kids to associate with anyways. We have to believe that our kids are smart enough to make good choices and that the teachers and learning that we instill at home will carry to the classroom, playground and beyond. I don’t know about you, but I’m trying to raise mensch-es who understand yiddishkeit in a non-Jewish world where they are always going to be different. I am still coming to terms with that as an adult and to make things more difficult on my kids, we have a parent who has a VISIBLE difference than everyone else. That will inevitably be something hard for them to deal with in life and I am getting inklings of it already…But I love him, and them, and will instill that in them - no matter what the other people think. He will always be different no matter where he goes and that is a great part of what makes him who he is…I think we could all learn a lot from the easy-going nature that he was given on the inside from HaShem because of who he is on the outside.

If we were in Israel, my children would be America’im and here they are not exactly Israeli, despite their names, but they ARE different than the American Jews that we are in constant contact with at this stage. I am so thankful I moved them to a different school, I just cannot be something that I am not – a part of THAT clique. Nor do I want to be. I am still struggling even at this point in my life with my Jewish Identity and I think maybe I always will.

Maybe that is why we are not back in Israel yet. I think that the journey we are on will eventually end up there again, but for now, we are where we are and we will make do with that.

PS I was given a smattering of details about an interesting tour to Israel this summer and will be considering it in the next few days - if it is possible and if it is the stair step that I have been searching for to the next phase....will keep you posted.

response to the worldwide effort to support our israel soldiers

I didn't email and ask for a single soldier (I think all the soldiers need our special prayers and thoughts), but thought that others might want to so I helped spread the word in my little way.
Then I saw this article today http://www.aish.com/jewishissues/israeldiary/Praying_for_My_Soldier.asp
and had to email you on the spot anyway for a name or a brigade or something.

I learn (and schmooze) once a week with a program called Partners in Torah (I think it was Females in Torah before that) and I know my rebitzen is sometimes rather suprised that I am there every week despite the everyday pressures of being a a working mother of small children. I made that commitment to myself and that it is something important to me, so I make it happen. [Like the mail service, come rain or high water, snow or sleet - that's big in Tx]

So, now that the intial steps are being taken on a tentaive cease fire in Gaza, there are still plently of dangerous situations for our soldiers to be in. (My husband's uncle died many years ago in a car crash, while in the line of duty, and is still recognized every year) I want to have the privelege of having my "prayers, good deeds and the like" be for myself, my family and for klal yisrael, not just a single soldier or brigade.

Unfortunately, the "war" against the Jewish people is ongoing and may be defined by certain military actions, but as a Jew living in galut [not-in-israel] and with day-to-day struggles with anti-semitisim, the war for me is always fought on many fronts.
I am many times (and have been for alot of my life) the only Jew in my work environment, my school environment, amongst many uneducated people who always corner me to ask more about being a Jew.

Thanks for letting me vent.

It is what it is.

This is the new catch phrase that I am hearing all over the office.

Week one of new school behind us and all ok, so far.
Kids are getting used to a shorter day and now I have to make sure my help will still be able to continue to help. Her family is complaining because there is no food to eat at 7PM when she is leaving my house. We are now trying to let her take the kids to her house, whatever it takes, but who knows - I certainly don't know if I want my small kids coming home to ask me about the strange man who is hanging on some wood on the wall at her house. (we visited her house when we left the kid sleeping there to go out on Sat. night.)

We had an impromptu belated Chanukah/birthday gift exchange with the kids and the Aunt Carlye and Uncle Sam faction at our house on Rampart. We had just had the exterminator out (again) for roaches and we had torn the kitchen apart so he could spray everywhere. Entertaining in that situation was not the easiest. I couldn't find plates or cracker or much of anything. But we managed, and the kids loved feeding their handpainted piggy banks from Aunt Carlye. Eran REALLY loved the hand crocheted kippa so much that he put in an order for a green and white one. He later told me (I don't know why he didn't tell Carlye) that he had always wanted a handmade kippa and he is already getting ready to wear it.
I can't wait to enjoy my new book (Cool Jew) and bath products from the new line of Lush by Levine....all at the same time.
This gift fest went on at exactly the same time as a birthday party for one of Jonathan's best friends from his former school and tee-ball/soccer team, etc, but I didn't have the heart to tell anyone about that at the time. I think it was also too early for Jonathan to see his other school friends anyway. there is another birthday party scheduled this week that I will be sure to attend so that we keep up appearances.

We celebrated Dad and Carlye's birthdays at a restaurant that I have been intrigued to try for some time now. It was good, but did not live up to the hype for it that I had built up in my head. And Eran was suffering with a toothache and so he was totally not impressed.

Found out that the engineer who was at the same company as my former nemesis MM had the office directly across from her and was none too impressed with her work. That was right after he dumped a copying project that he didn't want to do himself on my lap. We seem to spend an awful lot of time just chatting with me looking wistfully out his window, but as long as the work gets done, no one seems to care all that much. He's the one my boss deemed to be requesting "rock star" salary and so I have secretly refered to him as rock star for a while now. Seems like maybe he's become new favorite engineer to work for. Although one of the other ones really wants to be my favorite since he always comes and chats with me in my cube.

Today, despite the flailing economy and volatile oil and gas prices, our company annouced its standard of living increase. They were originally going to take away our $100/month parking allowance raise from earlier, returning it to the starting $100/month allowance, but there was an outcry (not from me, altough losing that would have made my raise relatively insignificant) and they overturned that judgement. Also there were a spate of layoffs and it was announced that one of the satellite offices was being shut down.

And sometime in February I will actually get an office with a door. No promise of a window yet, all that needs to be ironed out by the big boys. Maybe it had something to do with the day I took an hour online training and in order for no one to bother me I put a piece of adding-machiune tape across my entry way with a note mentioning that I was in training and to come back later.
The current VP had a good sense of humor about it and I hope it was taken in the right way.

Interesting times for sure!

The rally that was to take place the same night as our birthday celebration garnered some 200+ members and the police wrote at least 12 tickets to the protestors on the other side of the stree. There was a rally planned tomorrow at the Israeli consulate, but it was moved because there is a protest now planned against the Holocaust in front of the Holocaust Museum. That is simply unacceptable! It is deliberatley planned on a Friday afternoon so the Jewish population can not counter it with great numbers. What an abomination, but admittedly a clever tactic.

Facebook friends from HS - Love em or hate em? I have one new one who I remember as being somewhat outspoken, who considers himself an activist - and despite my strong feelings about all that is going on in Israel, I am only one person. I attened the major rally at Beth Yesh and stood and sang and prayed with my people. But I am not one to draw attention to myself at this point where it could harm my children. As it is I am laughing off the anti-semitic remarks of my colleagues because what else am I to do. I go to my "bible study" once a week just like they do, but I have a political cause and agenda now which is a little uncomfortable place to be in for me. And I have friends and loved ones who are in a war zone with sirens and bombs and soldiers being injured and killed. I have always been the token Jew, but it now more than ever is a dicey situation to be in. I forget that not everyone is as knowlegeable as myself about the issues and I truly try to get a balanced picture before I make any statements, but I think that this is a deserved action and that HaShem is watching over us because of the minimal collateral damage and the relatively low rate of causalties/injuries to our side. How else do you explain that in such a fierce fire-fight?

I'll start with a joke and we'll go from there...

This explains all you need to know about Israeli-Palestinian politics.
What happens when a fly falls into a coffee cup?

• The Italian - throws the cup, breaks it, and walks away in a fit of rage.
• The German - carefully washes the cup, sterilizes it and makes a new cup of coffee.
• The Frenchman - takes out the fly, and drinks the coffee.
• The Chinese - eats the fly and throws away the coffee.
• The Russian - Drinks the coffee with the fly, since it was extra with no charge.
• The Israeli - sells the coffee to the Frenchman, the fly to the Chinese, drinks tea and uses the extra money to invent a device that prevents flies from falling into coffee.
• The Palestinian - blames the Israeli for the fly falling in his coffee, protests the act of aggression to the UN, takes a loan from the European Union to buy a new cup of coffee, uses the money to purchase explosives and then blows up the coffee house where the Italian, the Frenchman, the Chinese, the German and the Russian are all trying to explain to the Israeli that he should give away his cup of tea to the Palestinian.

Eran's been grumpy lately, especially since the war in Israel may soon have a second front. http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,477745,00.html

This is what I did last night in support of Israel, while he stayed with the kiddos and watched a movie. http://www.myfoxhouston.com/myfox/MyFox/pages/sidebar_video.jsp?contentId=8212710&version=1&locale=EN-US [One of these days I'll figure out how to use the video upload feature]

Singing Hatikva used to get me choked up every time. Last night they had both Hatkiva and the Star Spangled Banner on the program, in the wrong order. Someone mentioned that the State Dept protocol insists that the US national anthem be sung last...I chose to make Alyiah in 2000, so I am both Israeli and American-like a lot of people at the event. What difference does it make when you sing what anthem?

Yesterday they didn't mention Rabin's assaination when we sang Shir LaShalom, but that is what got me more choked up. That was really the catalyst that drove me back to Israel in the first place.

Another friend is organizing a show of support and I will be on the bandwagon then too.
Never been much of an activist but always have had strong opinions.
How can you make your opinion count and show your support?

Hasbara in the Private Sector of Corporate America

So Jan 5, 2009 was the first day back to work for many folks in the West after what seemed to me like an eternity of holidays and time off...We did go to South Texas for a week and have Chanukah celebrations with some friends, but then Israel went to work in the Gaza strip and tried to ruin our vacation, pretty hard when I was adamantly refusing to even look at the computer, my main source of news.

On that first day back to work, I had a chat with my immediate supervisor. It went something like this:
ME: Glad to see you, I'll be in my cublicle listening to the war if you need me.
BOSS: Oh, OK. How is that going anyway?
ME: [with lights in my eyes] There is a real serious fire fight going on right now - it's dark over there you know.
BOSS: Oh. And how is the price of oil? [I work in Oil & Gas don't forget]
ME: I think it's going up.
BOSS: Then let em at it. As long as it keeps the price of oil up and saves our butt {and keeps us working.)

Did I mention my boss is one of the real good ole boy network? The economic downturn has really hit us hard since the price of oil fell from $90 when we were proposing budgets to when the bottom fell out and we were scrambling to get all the production volumes up.

So on that first day back to work, I spent the whole morning with an earphone in my ear listening and watching the Israeli TV reports of the up-to-the minute fighting. And I still managed to get my work done too...Glad we women can multi-task so well.

WORLDWIDE EFFORT TO SUPPORT ISRAELI SOLDIERS

"Operation Tefillah, Torah & Troops," which was launched by Rabbi Simcha HaCohen Kook, the Chief Rabbi of Rehovot, Israel, and the Bostoner Rebbe (Rabbi Levi Yitzchak Horowitz) of Har Nof, Israel, partners people from around the world with soldiers in the IDF. Each person who takes part in "Operation Tefillah, Torah & Troops" is paired with an Israeli soldier, and is responsible to say tefillot (prayers), learn Torah, and do special acts of chesed (kindness) on behalf of that solider.

Rabbi Kook and the Bostoner Rebbe noted that this concept is one that has been a part of the Jewish people for thousands of years. When Moshe Rabbeinu (Moses) led the Jewish people to war with the nation of Midyon, for every person who went to battle, there was a designated person who was responsible for praying and learning for him. Throughout his reign, David HaMelech (King David) utilized this practice as well. During the war in Lebanon in the summer of 2006, more than 50,000 people worldwide participated in this initiative spearheaded by Rabbi Kook and the Bostoner Rebbe, and facilitated in North America by the National Council of Young Israel.

To participate in "Operation Tefillah, Torah & Troops" and receive the name of an Israeli soldier who needs your prayers, send an e-mail to the office of Rabbi Kook at maortlmo@gmail.com. To request the name of a soldier by phone or fax, call the National Council of Young Israel at 212-929-1525 x100, or send a fax to 212-727-9526. Members of the IDF who wish to have a "partner" praying for them are urged to e-mail the office of Rabbi Kook as well.

Rabbi Pesach Lerner, the Executive Vice President of the National Council of Young Israel, noted that every tefillah that is said on behalf of a soldier will make a difference, regardless of where a person may be in religious observance.

"Each soldier that is putting his or her life on the line to defend the land of Israel and safeguard the Jewish nation deserves to have someone praying for their well being and safe return," said Rabbi Lerner, "During my conversations with Rabbi Kook, he emphasized that every Jew is encouraged to participate in this critical endeavor and to pray for a soldier in a manner in which they feel comfortable, irrespective of their religious background."

Last Joke

I thought the last joke was funny when I posted it. Now I don't find it quite as amusing with infantry soldiers firmly on the ground in Gaza.

So I heard another one that day that works a lot better if you tell it rather than read it, but here goes:

What do you call a fish with no "eye"?
FSH.

Get it?!?

Please keep your rotten tomatoes to yourself. These are almost the kind of clean jokes you can share with kids, kinda....

I have to do something to keep my mind occupied...both my kids are starting a new school on Monday, but tomorrow I have to get through a joint birthday party for 2 of the popular boys that Yoni will be sad to say goodbye to...UGH!!! And I had a long chat with his current Pre-K teacher which was both good and bad - she is both too close and not close enough to the whole balagan (mess) to be objective. I think what will come out of it is that we will become friends as her college-aged daughter left this PM for a 10 day Birthright tour of Israel. Impecable timing! I think I will be the one to calm her down about all that her baby will be going through.

And I don't remember the last time I had such painful CRAMPS!!! TMI - I know, but how much suffering can one mother be expected to take? Give me morning sickness over this bit any day!

Update:
Just in case you thought I forgot, I am seriously keeping an eye on developments in Israel and the region. When things start to heat up on the Northern border (let's hope that doesn't happen) I will seriously get nervous. But for now, I have a few friends who will be affected (BeerSheva, Arad) and Jerusalem will be on alert for unusual martyrdom, but for now, I dont think I personally know any soldiers that have been called up to serve in the immediate confict. But we are still concerned that all our soldiers return home swiftly and safely to their families. Tzav 8 is always a miserable state to be stuck in - you have to leave your daily life and family behind at the drop of a hat to keep your country and your brothers in arms safe in some of the most difficult fighting and situations ever. Not an enviable position to be in as a highly trained military position.

Here's a silly joke to start off the new blogging year:

What branch of the military do babies join?
The infantry, of course.



Enjoy and have a wonderful Shabbat.

Update

So I finally spoke to Eran's mother after the week of them being out of pocket and then us being on the road. Almost as good a source as the horse's mouth - I guess.

Turns out, all is not as bleak as originally thought.
As we know, the baby was born early but she breathed on her own and died shortly thereafter. She was born very early (as we know) and she was also apparently very under-developed for that stage of the pregnancy. Something about the placenta pulling away I think.

The fact that the baby breathed on her own was something I did not know before. And whether or not Helen had to make the decision to end her (the baby's) life is irrelevant, because the baby and G-d made the ultimate decision for her. Helen did have the chance to see her and said that she was beautiful - and I'm happy to know that is one of the good memories she will have to take with her from all of this.

It seems she did have some other fluctuations of BP so they kept her another day or two at the hospital. And as far as being able to have more children, they do not rule it out completely, but it would have to be under strict medical supervision from the get-go. This is Israeli medicine after all and they are VERY supportive of bringing Jewish babies into the world. I am glad to know that they didn't do anything as drastic as medically incapacitating her reproductively and keeping her from the possibility of ever having any other children.

But in any case, I am still thinking of her daily and I hope she can weather this storm as well. I'm sure she is sick of hearing that at least she has a son...and to be strong. She still had to go through the scary pregnancy and all the trauma that ensued and she didn't get to bring home a baby in the end. I say she should be able to cry and scream and be by herself and mourn for how ever long it takes, but that's not how it is in reality...The show must go on.

The crappiest Monday ever

I woke up this morning after having a disturbing dream about mice

which according to my brief web-based research means that I am being plagued by a multitude of niggling little nuisances that are a vital part of my current life which is eating away at my sanity in a semi or unconscious state. Basically I have a lot of small issues that are taking a lot of my energy to deal with for example, choosing a school for Jonathan (and/or Yael) next year, surviving the terrible 2s with a child who has been set up for failure by her school, dealing with insurance companies so I will have a car when the month ends, paying my multitudes of bills that come with owning a new house and getting kids home at a decent hour, dealing with the incessant questions - if I have dealt with this, that or the other...
BTW...the answer is always NO just leave me alone, I have a lot to do right now.


So begins my regular Monday morning routine, with the remnants of the dream about the mice running behind the chest of drawers in my kids' room and in the kitchen in the filth that is pervading there behind the refrigerator.

Meanwhile, I spent most of the previous day (Sunday) playing with my adorable children. We colored together and played Hide and Seek (Yoni hid in a cardboard box and under his bed twice and I hid behind the couch - too hard for him to find me, under the kitchen table and then under the dining room table making noise so he could find me easily. Yael and I played with blocks all the while I was strongly debating whether I wanted to attend a fundraising dinner for an organization I respect and feel strongly about. I just wasn't in the mood - but I took a shower, got dressed and made up, put on a happy face and went. It wasn't bad after all. I saw lots of friends and despite the lengthy speeches and accolades to people I didn't know, the evening was actually quite enjoyable. Plus as an added bonus, I got to spend the whole evening with Eran, sans my lovable little attention-mongers.

Once I stepped into the car this morning on the way to begin my carpool and regular routine, I somehow was hit by an allergy attack that lasted from 7:30ish AM to about 1 PM. I was sneezing uncontrollably and felt miserable to boot. Runny nose from all the sneezing, probalby a bit of a fever at one point, plus as an added discomfort, trying to solve other people's problems while not feeling so well myself and conscious of the fact that people probably wanted me to go home and not get them sick. I probably should've downed some DayQuil. But then, just as soon as it started, it was over with only the lingering sinus drain that will make sleeping in the same room with me impossible (I'll be snoring so loud the neighbors will hear).

Then long about 11:00 AM our SVP and management team member calls us in to the small conference room on our floor for a brief meeting. NOW!
We were given no clue as to its agenda, but since I have close proximity to his office, I heard him call out to his Admin to send out the email invite to only employees and not contractors - never a good sign, when he wants to exclude contractors it pertains to employees only. Previously he has congressed the whole dept in his office for various announcements regarding personnel changes or sent out an email.

Here's the shocker. After chit-chatting aimlessly about college football with the early comers (is that a word?), he smilingly "dropped the bomb" as it were and announced to us that he was retiring effective in 2 days and would not be back in the office following the Thanksgiving holiday this week. SHOCKING!!!

He graciously declined a company-sponsored retirement party (according to the other senior management representative that was at the meeting, who praised his work for the company) and apparently he still has lots of his personal money tied up in investments with the company. And so he will be gone but not forgotten. He personally hired many of the staff, and some came to work here just to work for him.
I suppose the writing was on the wall in some respects and my immediate supervisor and I have such an open relationship that he promised to fill me in at a later date, probably once he has left the building...


Then to top it all off, I got the worst news of all.
Eran's older sister who has a history of heart problems since she threw a blood clot at age 20, was already on bed rest at home and due to give birth to a baby girl in March. Eran only managed to tell me bits and pieces throughout the day, but it seems she was not feeling well and went to visit her doctor. The doctor ordered her an ambulance on the spot and she was sent to the hospital as there were problems with the placenta. Vague on the details I know, but I was getting a third-hand report from a MAN, who was upset to hear the news to begin with.
Helen was to spend the rest of the pregnancy in the hospital on bed rest so as to monitor her health and that of the fetus. Apparently she went into pre-eclampsia and was rushed into surgery where they delivered the baby. I am not clear on the details, but the one thing that is clear is that the baby did not survive. I do not know if the baby was alive at birth and died soon after, or was deemed too "broken" to survive and "euthanized". I don't get the impression the baby was stillborn. There was either a lost struggle for life or a decision was made to cut it short. In any event, on top of the tragedy of losing this baby prematurely, Helen has now been medically barred from having any more children since her history was of a heart condition and premature births due to pre-eclampsia (her older son Lidor was also born prematurely and she was on bed rest due to PIH and pre-eclampsia with him as well).
Needless to say, Eran is crushed and heartbroken. We can only imagine the grief she and her husband Asaf and Eran's parents must be going through. And of course Eran feels trapped here in Houston and that his hands are tied. Sending him to be with his family is not an option financially for us right now and they are so distraught I am not sure if it would be a good idea for him to appear in the midst of all this drama. There is more to the story of Helen, but hopefully she has left that period of her life behind her and will not consider venturing that way again.
Oh and it seems that Asaf, Helen's husband was let go from his hi-tech job not long ago, and was recently in a car wreck week that totalled his car as well, and that he also walked away from it.

Then when I arrived home after dropping Eran off at shul this evening, I expected to see our new housekeeper/caregiver home with the kids. I forgot that Eran had given her a few extra dollars last week so that she could go out with them and do something fun. She arrived back at the house around 10 after 7 (when I had asked my mother to meet her at the house at 6:30 as that is our arranged pick-up time at the house). She claimed that she had so much fun that she didn't want any extra money for the time she played with them [did I mention she has 5 teenagers of her own at home?] My mind had only started to race to bad thoughts when my mother and aunt brought up the possibility, but my mother's fighting instinct was not going off (call it mother's intuition or spidey sense or whatever) and I have a trusting relationship (albeit it short-lived and fraught with language barriers) with this person not to mention that she came with excellent recommendations from a trusted source or two. My mother and aunt didn't know all of this though.

She arrived home with the kids and they were all excited about having gone out to play with her. All's well that ends well I say. Then my teenage cousin Brian joined us for dinner while we gave Eran some alone time and Jonathan was immediately in love. Yoni had a new best friend and Brian was the object of some major hero worship - I hope it gave him a boost in confidence too.

So today is one that goes down in the history books as pretty damn difficult.
And now Eran is potentially jepordizing our Thanksgiving trip to be with family, despite the fact that it is exactly what would do him good right now. He loves the people we are going to see and spend time with and they love him right back! Plus some other family (you know who you are) are joining us this year from far afield and we are excited to see them as well.

We'll see what tomorrow brings. I am certainly glad to be able to be here to navigate all these obstacles with Eran and that he is here to travel this road with me. Hope we'll be having some lemonade soon :)

Yael's Birthday Parties

I'll actually be posting pics here when I get some...so watch this space.
She had a party at the JCC on Sunday and it was really fun for everyone. Even I got to enjoy myself, which is rare. Thanks to all the helpers. More info soon. Back to work.

Nes Gadol Hiya....

Hanukah is on the horizon, but I am talking about a modern day miracle that happened to yours truly.
Here is the text to the email I sent out to my co-workers:

From: Brenda Namer
Sent: Wednesday, November 05, 2008 11:34 PM
To: OpsUsers
Subject: accident

On the way home from the office yesterday (Wednesday) I was in a major automobile accident and totaled my car. The accident happened in front of a fire station and they sent me to St. Luke's, in an ambulance on a back board and in a neck collar. I am thankful that I literally walked away from the accident unscathed, but spent the majority of the evening at the hospital getting checked out.
Thanks,
Brenda

What I didn't say to them because they don't need all the details is that I was alone in the car, my kids were already taken care of for the evening and the first responders at the fire station were able to reach Eran in an instant. I was seriously shaken up and incurred a few pretty multi-toned bruises, but thankfully no major damage was done (I had multiple x-rays and a doctor checked for internal injuries) and they discharged me pretty quick with a prescription for some pain killers. Some of the questions they ask you when admitting you while you are duct taped to a back board with a neck brace are downright scary. As you can see from the pictures, I was sure lucky to be able to walk away much, less unscathed.

I recall seeing the other car at the very last instant, but had no way to stop in time and I am 100% sure that I had a green light. He turned into my lane in front of me and I have a vague memory of seeing his Isuzu trooper in the parking lot of the fire station and him speaking with one of the other firemen while I was being treated.
Thank goodness it happened in front of a fire station, the best place it could have happened if it had to happen, and I was given treatment on the spot. I got out of the car on my own and walked across the street to the curb where they tended to me and my high blood pressure. They were able to call Eran and I was able to speak to him, but not enough to calm him down. I told him that I was walking, but that I was going to the hospital. He proceeded to yell at me that my cell phone was without battery, as it is perpetually broken, lost or not charged up. The first responder apparently spoke to him at least 4 times and kept him abreast of where I was headed.
They also had cones out and flares and started directing traffic to clear out the chaos almost immediately. I am lucky I didn't lose consciousness and other than being in a serious state of shock with my BP soaring, it was a sight to behold for all the onlookers, I'm sure.
I was wearing my seat belt and the air bag deployed but I truly think that HaShem was watching out for me on that fateful drive as I was contemplating some of the things I had discussed with my learning partner the night before. I only knew the airbag had deployed because of the smell and the wafting smoke that barely pervaded my consciousness at the time. In case anyone forgot, it was after a much similar event that my grandmother was involved in a car accident and was awake at the scene and passed away later in the hospital. And some of the thoughts that ran through my head were instantly about Eran and the kids. And earlier in the day, I was commenting that I felt like I was just beginning to feel truly comfortable with who I am professionally and personally.


"Carit Aveer" in Hebrew an airbag literally translates to "air pillow" - get it?

When we went to check out the car at the impound lot, it was one of the more impressive wreckages there. What used to be the front end was smushed up into the winsheild as you can see from some of these pics.
Maybe I should call Toyota and thank them for their feats of engineering that made me able to walk away from a such collision and offer to be a spokesman.
All of these heroes gave me a chance to re-examine my life and to be grateful for the friends and family that were able to help and give me a chance to live a more fulfilling life.

Beer and Taxes

I think this an interesting example -yes I got it off a political blog -but it speaks to me in everyman terms. Not saying I agree or disagree, I'm just saying...

Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:

The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay $1.
The sixth would pay $3.
The seventh would pay $7.
The eighth would pay $12.
The ninth would pay $18.
The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.

So, that’s what they decided to do. The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve.
“Since you are all such good customers”, he said, “I’m going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20″. Drinks for the ten now cost just $80.
The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free. But what about the other six men - the paying customers? How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his “fair share?”
They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody’s share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer. So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man’s bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.

And so:
The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings).
The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33%savings).
The seventh now pay $5 instead of $7 (28%savings).
The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings).
The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% savings).
The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).

Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to drink for free. But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings.
“I only got a dollar out of the $20,” declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man, “but he got $10!”
“Yeah, that’s right,” exclaimed the fifth man. “I only saved a dollar, too. It’s unfair that he got ten times more than I!”
“That’s true!!” shouted the seventh man. “Why should he get $10 back when I got only two? The wealthy get all the breaks!”
“Wait a minute,” yelled the first four men in unison. “We didn’t get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!”
The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.
The next night the tenth man didn’t show up for drinks, so the nine sat down and had beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn’t have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!

And that, boys and girls, journalists and college professors, is how our tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore. In fact, they might start drinking overseas where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.
David R. Kamerschen, Ph.D.
Professor of Economics, University of Georgia

This is of course a light hearted way to poke fun at “the system”, but still yet an interesting look at the North American tax system. It also observes how we can sometimes get caught up in our own worlds such that we lose sight of the forest through the trees.

my Hurricane Ike story in a nutshell

This is the message I sent to some of my work colleagues:
Our Houston office is finally back open for business. The office had power but low water pressure last week, so they kept most of us away till today.
We were truly blessed here in Houston. At the very time of the storm we were moving out of our apt and into our new house that we just bought in August and everything worked out very well. The four of us (myself, husband and 2 small kiddos) spent our first night at the house on the night of the storm. The apt sustained some serious water damage (and soon had mold growing on the ceiling-just great for my respirator-ily challenged son), but my not so for my neighbor [who shares a staircase] Her bedroom roof was blown away and the ceiling collapsed - so we were also lucky there. The apt had power pretty quickly, but only our section of the complex. So since all the furniture and most of our other belongings were already at the new house, we just slept on the floor in the apt enjoying the AC, a small television [that ran the news most of the time and PBS for the rest], picnic meals on the living room floor, and shuttling back and forth between houses. I had been living at my parent’s for the previous week or two. The kids’ school is still without power so that is another major challenge. Their schedules are all off and they are mighty sick of grown-ups and yard work.
The new house dodged a bullet as the tree limbs that fell, fell in the yard. In my parent’s neighborhood, there were a few trees that fell ON houses and toppled over with roots and the sidewalk intact and blocked the roads. Needless to say, they are without power and lost all their food in the fridge/freezer. They moved in with us to be in the AC and to use the stove and fridge. The new house got power back on Friday afternoon. Those of us fortunate enough to have power are feeling guilty for enjoying it while so many others are without, but we are sharing with family, friends and neighbors as much as we can.
Yesterday my Aunt and cousin came back from Austin and moved in with us too. They had a downed power line on their roof and a fire to go with it till the power went out at their place. So I am back to sleeping on the floor in the kids’ room - my aging parents naturally need the bed, and my aunt and cousin got the couches, and the kids need the comfort of knowing we’re nearby. We’re definitely a full house, but we are lucky that we don’t have serious damage to contend with.
Hope all is well with you all. Be in touch.

What I didn't mention to my colleagues is that we got power at the house at about 2PM on Friday, which gave us enough time to prepare for Shabbat and warm dinner which had been shipped in from New York. We had also offered some friends to keep their freezer running at the apt, but they opted to travel to Dallas for Shabbat instead. I truly believe that Eran was right in not removing the mezuzot from the apt until all our stuff was out and for not letting us sleep in the house until all the mezuzot were up there as well (2 days before the storm, and after we had the kitchen kashered) He just knew that it needed to be that way! AMAZING!