MESS

Sick babies can still make their notable milestones.
Took off on Wed to take Baby Benjamin to the dr since his cough made him sound so miserable. Poor thing has a conformed virus combined with ear infection needing antibiotics. And apparently lots of antibotics. 3.5 ml twice a day for such a small thing (he's 12 lbs 7.5 oz as of his weigh in) And last night he did it - he deliberately turned over to reach for his sister's toy that she had placed within his reach, Of course his arm got stuck underneath him and he got frustrated and cried, but he did it! And he has been stretching in his bouncy chair to the right side for a few days now so much so that I am now FORCED to strap him in so I don't have to worry that he will fall out from straining to get out on that side.
I dressed them alike on purpose for the first time this AM. It was Halloween celebration at their day care and I had already bought the cute little pirate sleeper pajamas with matching hats for them. So I put them in it. And did they look cute or what. Pics to come.

I probably should mention my recent health scares just to document it for my future self. The day we went to pick up our lulav and etrog (the Sunday after Yom Kippur) I was boouncing around and playing with the kids and the next thing I know the room tilted and I got even dizzier and I knew that I was about to pass out. So I promptly sat down on the floor so I wouldn't FALL down and really cause some injury.  Then I soemhow found a nearby chair and pulled that over.
I checked my BP at work the following day and it was high (155/105) I was in to see the doctor later that week. HE put me back on BP meds and did the requisite bloodwork that would confirm what we both already knew - that I needed to be back on cholesterol medication as well.
Well fine and good. I  went back on the BP meds and he called me back to the office for test results. Not good. Cholestorol meds stat and also more BP med since it was still higher than he wanted and there was more than a trace of protein in my urine. I survived the pregnancy but my body is still paying the price apparently.
Well somehow, I took the meds as I should for a week or two and then managed to lose one of the prescription bottles in my house. The kids didn't find it, I just can't remember which of my hiding places I put it. This because I thought I had SWITCHED BP medication, not added to it.
Then last week, my body rebelled and good. Don't forget we had thrown a shower at my house Oct 2, we went out of town to a wedding in Shreveport and I had traded in my new-to-me car for a new one since they couldn't accommodate the 8 seats we had insisted upon but it was still a hassle and an unexpected expense (never putting cash money down on a new car again!) And of course the deal we got was really a take it or leave it, one time, one of a kind, situation where they "tried" to bend over backwards for us since it wasn't our fault, but somehow my payments still went up and I feel like I got screwed out of my extras....
So we were slated to be on the road again to Austin - half the amount of time as the previous weekend trip, but yet again a weekend on the road - when my body rebelled. I had the worst headache combined with nausea that I have ever had. So much so that it literally had me in tears. And I was stuck at my office. Literally. Because I was NOT about to get on the road in that condition and put myself and all the other drivers out there in danger that I would pass out and kill someone (or myself). Somehow I remembered to check my BP and the numbers were off the charts. Like astronomically. ie nearing stroke levels and higher than some of the numbers my mother was posting when she was hospitalized earlier this year for the very same thing.  180/130 was about the highest. And I couldn't get it to go down cause I felt like shit and couldn't calm myself down. This was on a Thursday I believe. Supposed to go to the party in Austin on Sunday. Didn't go on Friday as planned. Took some time to rest and relax in my own bed.

Back on all the meds now and daily I feel the effects. When I do measure my BP it is in the reasonable range. However, I have all kinds of side effects that may or may not go away, I am flushed regularly, I can feel tingling in my feet. Sometimes it feels like my ears are bleeding (or at least that something is dripping from the ear canal) and most recently, I have a tinny sensation on the tip of my tounge and the sneaking suspicion that I will be having the notable cough that is one of the familiar side effects of one of the medications. My question is when do I know if the medicine is working as it should and if the side effects are the trade off I need to have or if they are an impediment?

And there was other news at the dr that we didn't want to hear, but since it is not just my story, I will save it for another time.
Meanwhile, Jonathan and Yael have been challenging to raise lately, too. Jonathan's reading struggles are still a problem and require extra effort on his part and mine, but the glasses are definitely helping. Yael increasingly wants to be the center of everyone's attention. When I get home, Jonathan still has some homework to do and I want to nurse the babies to relieve the tension from me but also so they still get the benefit of being nursed from me, since the pumping is much messier, harder and much less efficient.

I really need to figure out a way to take down my stress levels so that I don't have a stroke or a heart attack, but I really just want my kids to be happy with me and each other. I'm lucky if I remember to put on deodorant and clean clothes everyday.