recent investments in my marriage

1. We recently went shopping together. My husband wanted a new sofa that I hated the instant I saw it. So instead we bought a house full of furniture. We picked out pieces we liked and didn't like together. I had the final say, but we made the decisions together.

2. our weekend wedding getaway to Florida for his boss's brother's wedding. I had never even MET the bride, but we got along famously. I even liked her friends. Why was this trip important? for several reasons...firstly, we are not beach people, but we still had some fun in the sun. It was alone time that we really needed - and the kids were ensconced in their new room at Bubbie and Purpaw's house. And, since I didn't know most of the guests, and spoke the same language as the family, I could be unihibited and was treated like family for the whole event. The fact is that the bride and I actully have a lot in common and other than the fact that I have nearly 10 years and two kids on her, I can see us being friends.

3. we had a spontaneous waterfight in the yard - just the two of us. He sprayed me with the waterhose after a particularly raucous screaming match where I nearly hyperventilated because I was so worked up. It totally disarmed me and reminded me of a previous waterfight where we both sprayed water at each other, in the early stages of our relationship, in our first apartment. It was exactly what I needed to relieve the tension and bring me crashing back down to the reality that what we were screaming about was just misaligned anger about other things going on in our lives. I didn't even bother to hose him down - he got his point across without saying a word - and I let him keep that victory.

I have made some missteps too recently - including mentioning his weight struggles and diet choices in front of his co-workers. BIG mistake that I realized as soon as the words left my mouth - but I had no way of correcting other than to be aware of it and steer clear of it next time around. They are the people that he has interaction with on a daily basis and who am I to draw attention to my percieved flaws - to them or to anyone else for that matter.

I believe in moments. Like when you are running, and both feet leave the ground. Unsustainable. Impossible to capture. Transcendent.
-Anonymous author, Marie Claire magazine

Since I am on an excercise kick which is changing my life-I finally had the lightbulb moment-I found this quote quite intriguing. I could almost feel the air beneath my feet which were both planted on the ground in front of me under my desk when I read it.

Words can mean so much.

On that note I want to mention how I also realized some of my conscious or unconscious thoughts that I don't even share with my immediate family may be causing them unconscious harm. What I mean is like this - I think of my son as being smaller than other kids his age and might even refer to him - in thought - as a runt. That doesn't detract whatsoever from my infinite love for him and my joy in watching him grow. However, he may pick up on the fact that I think it is a problem. For example when he was on this year's baseball team, I voiced my concern over starting him in the league too early, despite the fact that some of the kids on his previous team were in the same league. About mid-way through the season, I realized that because he was a bit smaller, he might get an extra pat on the head or a little extra coaching - to his advantage. It was also ironic that the one friend that we were closest with was the oldest and tallest kid on the team. We made it throught the season and next year I will keep my qualms to myself.