Monday, November 24, 2008

The crappiest Monday ever

I woke up this morning after having a disturbing dream about mice

which according to my brief web-based research means that I am being plagued by a multitude of niggling little nuisances that are a vital part of my current life which is eating away at my sanity in a semi or unconscious state. Basically I have a lot of small issues that are taking a lot of my energy to deal with for example, choosing a school for Jonathan (and/or Yael) next year, surviving the terrible 2s with a child who has been set up for failure by her school, dealing with insurance companies so I will have a car when the month ends, paying my multitudes of bills that come with owning a new house and getting kids home at a decent hour, dealing with the incessant questions - if I have dealt with this, that or the other...
BTW...the answer is always NO just leave me alone, I have a lot to do right now.


So begins my regular Monday morning routine, with the remnants of the dream about the mice running behind the chest of drawers in my kids' room and in the kitchen in the filth that is pervading there behind the refrigerator.

Meanwhile, I spent most of the previous day (Sunday) playing with my adorable children. We colored together and played Hide and Seek (Yoni hid in a cardboard box and under his bed twice and I hid behind the couch - too hard for him to find me, under the kitchen table and then under the dining room table making noise so he could find me easily. Yael and I played with blocks all the while I was strongly debating whether I wanted to attend a fundraising dinner for an organization I respect and feel strongly about. I just wasn't in the mood - but I took a shower, got dressed and made up, put on a happy face and went. It wasn't bad after all. I saw lots of friends and despite the lengthy speeches and accolades to people I didn't know, the evening was actually quite enjoyable. Plus as an added bonus, I got to spend the whole evening with Eran, sans my lovable little attention-mongers.

Once I stepped into the car this morning on the way to begin my carpool and regular routine, I somehow was hit by an allergy attack that lasted from 7:30ish AM to about 1 PM. I was sneezing uncontrollably and felt miserable to boot. Runny nose from all the sneezing, probalby a bit of a fever at one point, plus as an added discomfort, trying to solve other people's problems while not feeling so well myself and conscious of the fact that people probably wanted me to go home and not get them sick. I probably should've downed some DayQuil. But then, just as soon as it started, it was over with only the lingering sinus drain that will make sleeping in the same room with me impossible (I'll be snoring so loud the neighbors will hear).

Then long about 11:00 AM our SVP and management team member calls us in to the small conference room on our floor for a brief meeting. NOW!
We were given no clue as to its agenda, but since I have close proximity to his office, I heard him call out to his Admin to send out the email invite to only employees and not contractors - never a good sign, when he wants to exclude contractors it pertains to employees only. Previously he has congressed the whole dept in his office for various announcements regarding personnel changes or sent out an email.

Here's the shocker. After chit-chatting aimlessly about college football with the early comers (is that a word?), he smilingly "dropped the bomb" as it were and announced to us that he was retiring effective in 2 days and would not be back in the office following the Thanksgiving holiday this week. SHOCKING!!!

He graciously declined a company-sponsored retirement party (according to the other senior management representative that was at the meeting, who praised his work for the company) and apparently he still has lots of his personal money tied up in investments with the company. And so he will be gone but not forgotten. He personally hired many of the staff, and some came to work here just to work for him.
I suppose the writing was on the wall in some respects and my immediate supervisor and I have such an open relationship that he promised to fill me in at a later date, probably once he has left the building...


Then to top it all off, I got the worst news of all.
Eran's older sister who has a history of heart problems since she threw a blood clot at age 20, was already on bed rest at home and due to give birth to a baby girl in March. Eran only managed to tell me bits and pieces throughout the day, but it seems she was not feeling well and went to visit her doctor. The doctor ordered her an ambulance on the spot and she was sent to the hospital as there were problems with the placenta. Vague on the details I know, but I was getting a third-hand report from a MAN, who was upset to hear the news to begin with.
Helen was to spend the rest of the pregnancy in the hospital on bed rest so as to monitor her health and that of the fetus. Apparently she went into pre-eclampsia and was rushed into surgery where they delivered the baby. I am not clear on the details, but the one thing that is clear is that the baby did not survive. I do not know if the baby was alive at birth and died soon after, or was deemed too "broken" to survive and "euthanized". I don't get the impression the baby was stillborn. There was either a lost struggle for life or a decision was made to cut it short. In any event, on top of the tragedy of losing this baby prematurely, Helen has now been medically barred from having any more children since her history was of a heart condition and premature births due to pre-eclampsia (her older son Lidor was also born prematurely and she was on bed rest due to PIH and pre-eclampsia with him as well).
Needless to say, Eran is crushed and heartbroken. We can only imagine the grief she and her husband Asaf and Eran's parents must be going through. And of course Eran feels trapped here in Houston and that his hands are tied. Sending him to be with his family is not an option financially for us right now and they are so distraught I am not sure if it would be a good idea for him to appear in the midst of all this drama. There is more to the story of Helen, but hopefully she has left that period of her life behind her and will not consider venturing that way again.
Oh and it seems that Asaf, Helen's husband was let go from his hi-tech job not long ago, and was recently in a car wreck week that totalled his car as well, and that he also walked away from it.

Then when I arrived home after dropping Eran off at shul this evening, I expected to see our new housekeeper/caregiver home with the kids. I forgot that Eran had given her a few extra dollars last week so that she could go out with them and do something fun. She arrived back at the house around 10 after 7 (when I had asked my mother to meet her at the house at 6:30 as that is our arranged pick-up time at the house). She claimed that she had so much fun that she didn't want any extra money for the time she played with them [did I mention she has 5 teenagers of her own at home?] My mind had only started to race to bad thoughts when my mother and aunt brought up the possibility, but my mother's fighting instinct was not going off (call it mother's intuition or spidey sense or whatever) and I have a trusting relationship (albeit it short-lived and fraught with language barriers) with this person not to mention that she came with excellent recommendations from a trusted source or two. My mother and aunt didn't know all of this though.

She arrived home with the kids and they were all excited about having gone out to play with her. All's well that ends well I say. Then my teenage cousin Brian joined us for dinner while we gave Eran some alone time and Jonathan was immediately in love. Yoni had a new best friend and Brian was the object of some major hero worship - I hope it gave him a boost in confidence too.

So today is one that goes down in the history books as pretty damn difficult.
And now Eran is potentially jepordizing our Thanksgiving trip to be with family, despite the fact that it is exactly what would do him good right now. He loves the people we are going to see and spend time with and they love him right back! Plus some other family (you know who you are) are joining us this year from far afield and we are excited to see them as well.

We'll see what tomorrow brings. I am certainly glad to be able to be here to navigate all these obstacles with Eran and that he is here to travel this road with me. Hope we'll be having some lemonade soon :)

Monday, November 17, 2008

Yael's Birthday Parties

I'll actually be posting pics here when I get some...so watch this space.
She had a party at the JCC on Sunday and it was really fun for everyone. Even I got to enjoy myself, which is rare. Thanks to all the helpers. More info soon. Back to work.

Thursday, November 06, 2008

Nes Gadol Hiya....

Hanukah is on the horizon, but I am talking about a modern day miracle that happened to yours truly.
Here is the text to the email I sent out to my co-workers:

From: Brenda Namer
Sent: Wednesday, November 05, 2008 11:34 PM
To: OpsUsers
Subject: accident

On the way home from the office yesterday (Wednesday) I was in a major automobile accident and totaled my car. The accident happened in front of a fire station and they sent me to St. Luke's, in an ambulance on a back board and in a neck collar. I am thankful that I literally walked away from the accident unscathed, but spent the majority of the evening at the hospital getting checked out.
Thanks,
Brenda

What I didn't say to them because they don't need all the details is that I was alone in the car, my kids were already taken care of for the evening and the first responders at the fire station were able to reach Eran in an instant. I was seriously shaken up and incurred a few pretty multi-toned bruises, but thankfully no major damage was done (I had multiple x-rays and a doctor checked for internal injuries) and they discharged me pretty quick with a prescription for some pain killers. Some of the questions they ask you when admitting you while you are duct taped to a back board with a neck brace are downright scary. As you can see from the pictures, I was sure lucky to be able to walk away much, less unscathed.

I recall seeing the other car at the very last instant, but had no way to stop in time and I am 100% sure that I had a green light. He turned into my lane in front of me and I have a vague memory of seeing his Isuzu trooper in the parking lot of the fire station and him speaking with one of the other firemen while I was being treated.
Thank goodness it happened in front of a fire station, the best place it could have happened if it had to happen, and I was given treatment on the spot. I got out of the car on my own and walked across the street to the curb where they tended to me and my high blood pressure. They were able to call Eran and I was able to speak to him, but not enough to calm him down. I told him that I was walking, but that I was going to the hospital. He proceeded to yell at me that my cell phone was without battery, as it is perpetually broken, lost or not charged up. The first responder apparently spoke to him at least 4 times and kept him abreast of where I was headed.
They also had cones out and flares and started directing traffic to clear out the chaos almost immediately. I am lucky I didn't lose consciousness and other than being in a serious state of shock with my BP soaring, it was a sight to behold for all the onlookers, I'm sure.
I was wearing my seat belt and the air bag deployed but I truly think that HaShem was watching out for me on that fateful drive as I was contemplating some of the things I had discussed with my learning partner the night before. I only knew the airbag had deployed because of the smell and the wafting smoke that barely pervaded my consciousness at the time. In case anyone forgot, it was after a much similar event that my grandmother was involved in a car accident and was awake at the scene and passed away later in the hospital. And some of the thoughts that ran through my head were instantly about Eran and the kids. And earlier in the day, I was commenting that I felt like I was just beginning to feel truly comfortable with who I am professionally and personally.


"Carit Aveer" in Hebrew an airbag literally translates to "air pillow" - get it?

When we went to check out the car at the impound lot, it was one of the more impressive wreckages there. What used to be the front end was smushed up into the winsheild as you can see from some of these pics.
Maybe I should call Toyota and thank them for their feats of engineering that made me able to walk away from a such collision and offer to be a spokesman.
All of these heroes gave me a chance to re-examine my life and to be grateful for the friends and family that were able to help and give me a chance to live a more fulfilling life.