another responsive post

A good friend of mine who is married to a rabbi (you know who you are) wrote this: “…my secret fear for my children is that they will go off to school and nobody will play with them, because I as the parent am totally powerless to do anything about that. If someone were to make fun of my child, insult my child? I would simultaneously be murderously outraged and also shrivel like a shrivelfig, because... how can I fight that!?”

I had other people at the old school tell me that my darling daughter would “have no friends” because she was the aggressor. They also set her up for failure and brought in a social worker to observe without my knowledge or permission, but that is a different post altogether.

That comment didn’t bother me at all like you seem to think it would. What I am concerned about when I send them off to school is that they learn all kinds of things. Sure it will be hard when they realize that we don’t play with everyone else on weekends, etc., but we have our own issues and set of circumstances and some of those kids are not who I would want my kids to associate with anyways. We have to believe that our kids are smart enough to make good choices and that the teachers and learning that we instill at home will carry to the classroom, playground and beyond. I don’t know about you, but I’m trying to raise mensch-es who understand yiddishkeit in a non-Jewish world where they are always going to be different. I am still coming to terms with that as an adult and to make things more difficult on my kids, we have a parent who has a VISIBLE difference than everyone else. That will inevitably be something hard for them to deal with in life and I am getting inklings of it already…But I love him, and them, and will instill that in them - no matter what the other people think. He will always be different no matter where he goes and that is a great part of what makes him who he is…I think we could all learn a lot from the easy-going nature that he was given on the inside from HaShem because of who he is on the outside.

If we were in Israel, my children would be America’im and here they are not exactly Israeli, despite their names, but they ARE different than the American Jews that we are in constant contact with at this stage. I am so thankful I moved them to a different school, I just cannot be something that I am not – a part of THAT clique. Nor do I want to be. I am still struggling even at this point in my life with my Jewish Identity and I think maybe I always will.

Maybe that is why we are not back in Israel yet. I think that the journey we are on will eventually end up there again, but for now, we are where we are and we will make do with that.

PS I was given a smattering of details about an interesting tour to Israel this summer and will be considering it in the next few days - if it is possible and if it is the stair step that I have been searching for to the next phase....will keep you posted.